Thursday, June 14, 2007

My thoughts for today!

It seems we are all in a funk this week, ONEHM, and Lindsey, Jenny. and probably countless others. i have no idea why, but i have been feeling less than adequate, and kind of hating my life in general. some of the reasons i am unhappy with my life are ..........

I am fatter, and not as pretty as i had been, in past years or months. was it the six kids? the lack of metabolism (from no thyroid)? older age? not a good haircut? I don't know but i have been obsessing about it. It makes me sad.

MY house keeps getting hot. the stupid thermostat, is programmed to hot, or 82 degrees. it gets hot, and i get cranky, so then i check the stat and turn it down to the proper 78 and stay pissy for the rest of the day. IT is too hot to go anywhere. we don't have a pool and i am not super thrilled about being the fat lady at the public pool.


i haven't unpacked . Boxes are piled to the ceiling in the craft room and the play room , and i ignore it, but it keeps me in a bad mood. I need to finish painting, unpack and get settled into the house we are never moving from. i need to make some crafts. i need something to get me out of this funk. Why do i feel inadequate because i fed my kids PB and J for lunch? they don't even eat lunch half of the time, and i force something something into them before they leave.

i think alot of my funk has to do with lance's lack of employment. HE isn't concerned, I on the other hand worry. HE is considering it his vacation he never got in the last few years. six weeks paid vacation. but my washing machine is making a extra loud sound on the spin cycle, and his cars air isn't working, and making the car chug. worst case it craps out completely, and we get a new cheap car.

i guess i do have some pretty big reasons to have some real stress, and then there are the things i can control and choose to do nothing about. like my house and my weight, both things i have issues with but choose the easier route. like denial. then there are the things i can't control, like Lance's Job, and my health issues, the car crapping out and the washing machine too.

the answer I need a girls night bad! i need some retail therapy.

5 comments:

Jen said...

Aww, Jules I feel for you. It has just been a crappy week all round. I totally understand the job crap. Jeff was the same way, he thought of it as 6 weeks vacation he had NEVER been able to have, just unpaid for us! It still sucks and sometimes you just need to be in a crappy funk to get it out of your system. I hope you feel better! I will see ya tomorrow! Corbin is excited for our date.

onehm said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel!
Maybe we should all start going to my friend's pool on Friday afternoons...all of us! It would be super fun! (And she's never home, so we have full use with no visitors!)
I am the same way with all the "denial" flying around my house (and head) too! Hope you know you aren't alone...
;)Luvs!

blah, blah by lindsey said...

Belive me I know how you feel. At least you are in you VERY OWN house. I feel like I just want to sleep all the time (or at least when Caleb is napping) but then I feel bad if I do and neglect other things.

I am up for a girls night anytime. Or if you just want to talk call me.

Webb Family said...

I was also having a bad, feel sorry for myself, a lot on my mind kind of day! It must be in the air or time of the month who knows!! Paige also has a pool and I'm inviting you and your kiddos to come swim. Paige would invite you if she was reading blogs but chances are she's not. We need to get together anyway I have a bunch of stuff for you!

ZB said...

First of all...love the skinny feet at the top of the page. Make that picture all the funnier.

Sorry that you are all in a rut. Pretty sure that AZ heat will do that to anyone. Come and visit us!

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