seven random things about me! you'd be amazed at how many of these i can do and still not be at a loss for something to say.

i found a great question thing here! and so since i am at a loss for good things to say today, I'll do it. i missed movie fun because the van wouldn't start, Hope pitched a fit, and I'd had it. great day! (insert sarcasm there) !

1. I love newborns! not so much the getting up in the night, but the sweet baby to hold and cuddle , and that is so tiny and that super cute newborn cry. in fact I recorded Pierce's cry on my cell phone to hear over and over again. and I am so glad i did. he is so big, and he'll be one next week and my baby thinks he needs to walk! it makes me so sad. he stands up and takes a step or two. but if i say "oh no" in a sad voice, he'll sit back down and lay back. I feel like I need a new baby but maybe not just yet. there have only been a couple kids that got to be the baby for more than 18 months. but i realized last night i don;t think i have ever held my niece, I am always holding my own tank, and when i am out alone, i am happy to have a break. sad. before i had kids, i would hold any body's newborn for hours. maybe when i am done having kids I'll get back to that.
2. I pee my pants all the time! yeah this is my fave, i have many stories when i peed my pants when i am out in public, with family, or at home. and it isn't always just a little bit. One time i drove out to TJMAXX in Scottsdale, I'd sucked down a whole route 44 Dr. Pepper, on the way. i needed to pee, but had to unload the kids i had with me (only 2) and the stroller. I hurry, but someone threw a fit in the parking lot about a shoe or something, I rushed in, got all the way to the back of the store, into the bathroom, and as i get into the stall, I lost all control, and FLOOD! so i clean up, assess the damage, and tried to dry off with the hand dryer no less. I am a beaut! and i felt like it would be too obvious to leave after rushing into the store with a screaming kid and everyone would notice if i left with wet pants immediately after getting there. SO, i shopped in the back of the store for over an hour avoiding other people waiting for it to dry. before i finally left. but i perused the whole kids section, and hid behind the stroller, while it dried. my friends mock! and yeah that is when i learned i needed to just stop at a Circle K and run in quick and use the facilities, before i pee my pants again in public. oh and turns out i was pregnant at the time and didn't know it yet.
3. When I pee my pants losing all control, I might be pregnant. that is one of my first signs. ( see above story.) oh and here is another one....... one time i went out to Ikea because Joy had left her new silver bracelet from grandma , in the play area restroom, i was going to pick it up at the lost and found. it happened to be the morning of Halloween, Joy was in her costume, i had to pee, i was dancing trying to hold it, but then Joy proceeds to puke on herself and her costume. I am trying to unload the girls, dancing because i need to pee , she pukes, and low and behold, i lose it. yeah in the parking lot! and not just a little. the cart guy i think, even witnesses the flood. GREAT i had just driven 45 minutes to go pick up her freaking bracelet , and it was totally a waste of gas and money? I think not! I turn my skirt around, park in the loading zone, lock the girls in the car, and run up to the offices where the lost and found is. and mention something about spilling my drink , when the girl looked at my wet skirt. WINNER! but whatever, i wasn't gonna waste my time doing that again! this was the week or two before the tjmaxx issue. yeah prego, but didn't even consider it an option. i had just had radiation the month or two before, and went home and looked up all sorts of incontinence issues, caused by radiation. when the test was positive it all became clear!
   
4. I don't share blankets with my Husband! and this is why.......................................................... I hog the covers and am always cold , and he is always hot but on occasion, i am hot and i always need my feet out. I have to have the blanket wadded up between my knees to avoid my legs sweating, and i like to have just my feet out. i can't ever have my feet covered. we each have our own comforters, mine is down, his is whatever cotton thing i happen to give him. We have never shared the blankets, all night long anyway. sometimes in the winter when I am really cold, I'll have my blanket and his , on top of me and my feet out.
   
5. I love hot showers! super hot, turn your back red, hot showers. in the winter i shower at night before i can go to bed because i am always cold. and then i shower in the morning after i get up to warm up again, and because my hair is generally so funky, flat on one side dried retarded from sleeping with wet hair, and super short hair that has been slept on wet, is extra pathetic. flat top in front and totally flat in back or just one side, just wetting it can't fix it. it isn't pretty. and lance and I have our best chats in the shower. TMI? maybe. but totally quality chatting time. no kids listening. about everything, work, family, friends, school. Everything. an all that undivided attention is pretty fabulous. we fight in the shower too. we don't have pillow talk we have shower talk. with pillow talk i run the risk of talking to myself, because he falls asleep.
   
6. I hate swimming now as an adult. I love to swim , but i hate to be the fat lady in the pool. and for some reason i am fine with it if I am pregnant, but if I'm not , i really hate the thought of swimming. friends houses, family parties, public places. My mom was that way too. now i know why. I kind of hate it. but yeah it isn't cute, and i just can't hack it.
   
7. I have a super low self esteem and super high stress levels. you wouldn't think it though, would you? people say they think i handle stuff really well, and yet i totally fake it. I freak about about tons of stuff, and have had major depression issues. and severe postpartum Depression that last the whole time i am pregnant. I felt like i was so "not cute" in school and I thought i was the hugest dork. I had friends but never thought i was popular. I was thin back then and thought i was fat the whole time. now i really know what fat is and wish i would have enjoyed it back then. i hate how i look in pictures and always have, even when i was cute. but in a year or two I'll look back and think i look pretty ok , what was my issue? and i feel like nobody remembers me. so unless i know somebody really super well, i don't go up to anyone, because i feel like they wouldn't have reason to remember me from elementary school, or Junior high, or even high school. and along those lines i remember pretty much everyone. yeah depression sucks and i have had major issues with it for over 15 years, probably longer, and it , of course, gets worse during pregnancy and after and i am talking over a year after having a baby. not just a few weeks. and I am totally an advocate for meds. if you need them accept it and take them and move on! they work , and if you need them embrace that and accept it! but i do believe some don't work the same way for me as they do for others. and some make it worse. I saw a T-shirt when i was in High school , at Vans California days, it said...."Prozac, the breakfast of champions." i totally wanted it. and it totally was true! so yeah now you know i totally fake being able to handle it. Fake it 'til you make it !
   

Ok there are my seven! what are yours, you read my deep dark secrets come on, share yours!