Something to keep in mind when you think no one notices all you do.
It started to happen gradually, One day I was walking my son Jake to school.
I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him,
"Who is that with you, young fella?"
"Nobody," he shrugged.
Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought,
"Oh, my goodness, nobody?"
I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV
down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote.
I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?"
Nothing.
Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was
ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break
in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.
I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room
while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head
In the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?"
I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that
graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going? she's going? she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten
back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around
at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style
dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid
I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, "I brought you this."
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
“To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a
workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much
time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you,
Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no
sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great
cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the
disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will
never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no
cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving,
"My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and
presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to
come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible
that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices
of invisible women.
It started to happen gradually, One day I was walking my son Jake to school.
I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him,
"Who is that with you, young fella?"
"Nobody," he shrugged.
Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought,
"Oh, my goodness, nobody?"
I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV
down, please" - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote.
I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?"
Nothing.
Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was
ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break
in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.
I'm invisible.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room
while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head
In the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?"
I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that
graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going? she's going? she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten
back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around
at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style
dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid
I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped
package, and said, "I brought you this."
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
“To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing
truths, after which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a
workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much
time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
And the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you,
Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no
sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great
cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the
disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will
never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no
cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving,
"My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and
presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to
come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible
that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices
of invisible women.
6 comments:
wow!! that totally made me cry. that story feels like my life, so unappreciated, so unnoticed. i hope the sacrifice i make, will someday make a difference to someone.
That is such a nice story. Thank you for posting it. :)
Wow, such a good story!!! Makes you want to keep going..!!
Amazing!! Thank you. Some times as mothers I know we seem invisible.
What a great story about Mothers and it is so true how often we are unappreciated and unnoticed. But, it's all worth it in the end!
I was browsing and stumbled upon your blog. I read this post and was captivated reading til the end. Being a mother is such a blessing but I agree at times it feels like your invisible. I try to take in my girls a moment at time. So much of the time I get frazzled with all the demands on me. Reading things like this post puts my mind straight back into focus. Thank you.
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