Lessons learned from a friend.

i have been resisting posting my thoughts on something for a few days, and really i think i just need to post them for some reason if only just to move on.

i'll start with a little background.

when Lance and I were Newlyweds 11 years ago we lived in the basement at my mom's(here), we taught a class of 8 year olds at church. we thought we were really fun teachers, and we had a great group of kids, we asked everyone what they thought would be a good treat, and we said we'd bring them if they were good.

and seriously who isn't good for a treat? everyone was. so every week we brought treats.

they listed stuff like cookies and milk, licorice, cake, lollipops, and one kid said Almond Roca. hello! expensive taste for a kid right? this kid knew what he liked. well the week we brought Almond Roca he wasn't there, so we left it on his doorstep with a note saying we'd missed him at Primary.

this same year we'd let some of the kids in our class , a bunch of little boys, hitch a ride in the back of Lance's truck, and we'd drop them all at home. they were the cutest kids, and we loved having them in our class. i was so committed to being there for Primary i brought a ziploc bag in case i was suddenly sick when i was prego and had a tendency to vomit with little warning, i never wanted to miss ( i can't say I'm that committed to going to church these days, but back then i was). I invited them to my baby shower to come with their moms (even the boys). and some of them did! some were embarrassed to be there, but i was so thrilled they came.

Shortly after that we moved into our own house and moved out of the ward. but i always remembered having those cute kids in our class. i had some of the girls babysit once in a while, then, I'd see them around, and every time i saw them they had grown up a little more. we'd be at the park after school, and they got off the Jr. High bus, then suddenly they were in High school, and then graduating. Some joined the Military, and some went on missions. i never forgot their names, and i always wondered if they remembered being in our class so long ago. and loved watching them grow up into beautiful young adults.

a couple years ago and we had moved back into the basement at mom's temporarily and ended up staying 5 years, since after a few months, Lance quit his job, and went back to school to get his Degree . While he was in school he used some of his skills and did some work for people in the neighborhood putting in ceiling fans, some plumbing , carpet, electrical, and A/C work.

Lance did the most work at the Hall's house (we traded laborfor swim lessons). Their son Andrew had been one of the boys in our old class, and he hung out with Lance when he was there, he'd ask him stereo stuff, or mechanical things on his scooter or go cart. he'd come by every once in a while to show how certain things worked that they'd talked about , and they'd emailed for years, sending Forwards, and jokes.

Andrew was special , he'd been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and struggled with that since he was 3 months old. and he wasn't' supposed to live past the age of 12 (his mom once told Lance they counted every year after that a blessing) . He had some good years and some bad and then worse, to the point he got a lung transplant last year. He included Lance in the "i got a lung transplant email" we were so excited for him. he had a big party in February to celebrate his one year anniversary with his new Lungs and i felt so bad we spaced what night it was on and missed it. But things were looking up for him. he was getting to do new things he'd never been able to do before. he participated in a half marathon, and was living his life to the fullest. he'd started dating. he got to travel. he was enjoying life.

his mom did swim lessons for my kids again this year, and she'd said then (in May) he was rejecting the transplant, but he was up and around doing his thing. you didn't know he was sick by looking at him(except for the puffy look he got from the steroids), he always had a huge smile and seemed happy.

last Sunday Andrew passed away. Lance and I went to the funeral today. the crowd of people there to support his family, and celebrate his life was huge. Almost like a reunion of people that knew and loved Andrew and his family. All the kids that we'd had in our class with Andrew were there. the ones that could be, were. but if they were out of the country (missions and military) their parents were there. it was so heartening to me that the friends that he had when he was 8 years old that he grew up with, came today to remember him. ALL OF THEM. the odd one, the pretty girls, the punk rock chick, the ones that had moved away when they were 12, the inactive ones, everyone.

the biggest message today, that was part of all the talks, was his love for everyone, and that he showed everyone how much he loved and appreciated them. everyone that he loved knew he loved them. he told them. often! and spent time with those he loved, and experienced those moments that make life good. he was such a HUGE example to those around him about living life to the fullest, not wallowing in his illness and letting it get the best of him, he was a fabulous example of how people should live and love, and have caring relationships. he took time to make memories with those he cared about, and spend real quality time with them. he was a great friend, and had good relationships with people from every age group, and some of the least expected people. and they knew where they stood with him. he was not a fake it til you make it person, he was a genuinely happy to be here and make the best of things kind of guy!

Andrew was 19 years old, and i feel blessed to have known him.

things I've learned from Andrew...

- ask for what you like best , you just might get a whole canister of it on your doorstep. (he was the one that asked for Almond Roca.)

- let people know what they mean to you. often.

- live life to the fullest. everyday. every chance you get. take it.

- your illness doesn't define you. Enjoy life anyway. it's the only one you get.

- it gives me hope that the kids my kids are Friends with now, might be their friends 10 years from now. since we plan on being here still.

- live genuinely and love generously.

-Enjoy the little things, and push for the things that matter most to you.

he was SO young, and yet so Wise for his years.