Friday, January 25, 2008

sidebar. about the last post.

oh I'm realistic about the mom's concern. and i do feel extra bad. it will be taken care of too. and Joy does receive positive reinforcement when she has a good day. but thanks for the reminder it is a good idea too.

i am a fan of love and logic parenting. which hypes natural consequences. punishment fits the crime and stuff. she will be doing extra chores to help buy the gift card. and then the mom can buy another outfit he may need to or replace the other one.

i assume the mom may be a first time mom and then that would explain some of her outrage, more kids makes you realistic about what happens at school, and also a little more callused about her kids safety mom's with more kids realize kid do stuff to other kids. and also that i can not control what my kid does while she is at school. i can prep her, and punish her, advise her and remind her. but otherwise she is on her own and i can only hope she makes good choices.

the gift card is a great idea. I'll go see how much it is worth, and get one for that amount.
maybe they aren't really careful about buying on sale and they paid full price, it is insane to do but it's only fair to replace it at regular price.

she said the grandma bought it on credit and they didn't even notice how much it cost. because it was Christmas. so in that case i may assume they weren't all about a good bargain.

and yesterday's thing was an old shirt so I'll be replacing the NEW outfit, at regular price in gift card form, and we know for sure Joy did that.

it is only right.

But it does suck!

13 comments:

Laurie said...

You are right for repacing what was ruined. The gift card is a good idea. But it sucks when you don't even know for sure that it was your kid's fault!

Robin said...

I agree, first time moms or moms of only children freak so easily. Wait til you've lived through the teen years and look back, it will almost seem amusing. Almost.

Ruth Anne said...

As you probably know, I recently sent my oldest to kindergarten. My daughter was telling me horror stories about being punched and spit on at school, so I volunteered in the classroom. (Whole new respect for the teachers.) My daughter has now befriended the girl. I let the girl come over to the house, but I still feel like they need to be chaperoned the whole time.

Anyway, that mom or you should volunteer to see how they really do interact with each other. Joy could be innocent or just being aggravated by the boy. I'll watch the baby if you want.

janna said...

Oh how madding.... I am sorry too.
Gift card sounds good and very nice of you.

My neighbor ran over, well backed up and ran over an expencvie bike, last summer. I was pissed but never said anything to her. I was more mad at my dd for parking it right behind her van. She is going without a bike this next summer too.

janna said...

Oh btw- Brittany's favorite profanity is the big "F YOU"
It only comes out when she is in a awful fit. She even said it once in sacrament. Our bishop just started to laugh. (We warned our ward about her)

kellyo75 said...

Good for you, Julie. You are much better woman then I am !

Debra said...

No offense to first time moms (I used to be one too!!!) but they freak SO easily!

Not much seems to bother me anymore. When Olivia cut her hair to her chin over the summer, I just laughed. Now when Emma (my second) had her hair cut by my son, I freaked.

The longer you mother and the more kids you have, the less your feathers get ruffled!

I haven't decided if it is because we learn patience or if we are just so sleep deprived we don't care/don't sweat the small stuff! LOL

Laura said...

I would hate to part with that outfit money too! So lame. I agree with the PP poster about volunteering if you can. Giving Joy the attention of you going in would help, and it will help you see what is going on (I love spying). Take the offer on babysitting and see what is up. Also what you said about positive reinforcement spoke to me. I try and try to do this and forget so much. It is easier to ignore the good stuff and only react to the bad. My kids thrive on the positive.

SHERI said...

Yeah it does suck to have to replace the clothes and to get those calls from the teacher. But you are doing the right thing.

Are You Serious! said...

Definately one BAD thing about a gift card. You could probably get the same outfit for 1/3 of the price on ebay! I prefer to give a gift/replace just for the fact that I can usually get it for a bunch cheaper! :)

Good Luck...

Lisa said...

Sounds like a lose/lose situation. You feel bad, she's worried her perfect angle is going to be stabbed by your hellion...what's one to do? I don't think I'd replace the clothes though. Kids will be kids and unless your kid is an unprovoked serial cutter...turn about is fair play at 5. How long would a new track suit on a 5 year old boy going to stay new anyway??

tammy said...

About the gift card, I probably wouldn't do it for the full price of the outfit. You know chances are they got it on sale - especially at that time of year. And also since she claims they "can't remember" how much it was. I'd just do like $10-15 as a peace offering. Really.

little jill said...

i would say that the mom probably isn't as miffed about the track suit (unless she's super high maintenance) but more at the behavior. If it is true. When you give her the gift card I would put a note saying that your daughter did EXTRA chores and such to earn the money for that. She doesn't know you from Adam, so I think letting her know that is kind of saying . . my kids in check . . what about yours?

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