are you FREAKING kidding me? about thursday for Friday!
this kid! 
ok so this afternoon after the Dr. appointment (Pierce did have an ear infection by the way, love those vent tubes.) i got home just in time for the kids to get out of school. so at 3:05 i got a call from Joy's teacher. she called to tell me, Joy cut a boys shirt at school with scissors. yeah . this happens to be the same freaking kid she cut his apparently new Christmas gift Nike track pant outfit last week. or 2weeks ago whatever. so Joy had lunch detention at that time. smart thing to do would be move her away from this boy so she can' t torment him, well, the teacher moved her for a while as punishment, well somehow the teacher let Joy earn her spot back and this happens.
today the mom came and saw the teacher. and now Joy has detention again. and i feel guilty enough i call the mom and offer to pay for the clothes. ( not that anyone has ever done that for me after getting ruined by someone else at school but whatever). so i call the mom, she has no idea how much it is worth, and she was just saying it was new from Kohls at Christmas. so now i am going to Kohls and checking the freaking price of a new Nike track pant outfit and giving her the money. what happened to receipts? hello? anyway. and the mom said she was concerned about his safety when she cut the shirt. ok. i can understand that. fine. so there will be consequences at school. and now Joy will permanently have her own desk away from everyone else. great! but I am completely horrified i had to make that call at all , that anything happened, and that Joy is a nincompoop! and horrified i got a call at all from the teacher. HORRIFIED!
my question is , why the hell did the teacher put Joy back next to this kid?
It is beyond me! I told joy to stay away from him at the time but if your assigned seat is next to him, well what can you do? AND when i asked Joy about this? she says she didn't do it. and i almost believe her. she normally admits pretty quick to any wrong doing. but this is a mystery to her. so either she is getting really good at lying and seriously me and my mom and Lance and the kids all asked her about it. no sign she is lying but it is always possible. or this kid may have cut his own shirt (others of my kids have done that before don't ask me why ) and blamed it on Joy to avoid getting in trouble , my kids think he" framed her" (Peyton's words) !
Either way , there will be a consequence. and i will discuss further the issue of her sitting by him ever again. seriously who would put them back next to each other after that? really!
and i know Joy is a handful and sometimes a complete nightmare. i am all for natural consequences. do what ya gotta do.
and i warned her poor teacher about her at the beginning of the year. and even at conferences after the first quarter, i warned her and she didn't believe me. So really , what can i say? NOW she knows. and she otherwise deals fine with it. but i am beginning to wonder if Joy is getting blamed for everything that happens now since she has gotten in trouble before. i guess last week she had a red light for throwing scissors Joy says it wasn't her then either. she didn't even tell me about it she told my mom. maybe she is just making up stuff. who knows!
oh and Joy got a red light for crawling around under stalls in the bathroom at school . she said another girl was doing it first. holy crap! she kills me. i hate to get calls about naughty kids at school. HATE IT!
this is one of the days i think it would be way easier to home school. but then i know I'd be irritated by them doing dumb crap with me all day. UGH!
so what would you do if your kid ruined another kids outfit?
and if she says you don't have to pay her, would you still pay her to replace the outfit??
what if Joy is telling the truth and she really didn't do it but i am letting her take the blame because it is easier than trying to figure out the truth?
what would you do?
and by the way she is 5 and in kindergarten.
OY vey!
21 comments:
That's a hard one. You want to be able to trust your child, especially if they are telling the truth. I'd maybe buy a little gift card for the parent to Kohl's. Even if she said you didn't have to, she'd admire and respect you for doing it.
I'm excited for tonight!
Hmm, I think the gift card idea is a good one. I would be confused though, as I would want to believe my child. I was at Khols yesterday, and they are having a HUGE sale, and tons of stuff! Seriously...I bought Sarah a dress for 5.00 dollars, and it was 80% off. Maybe take a peak to see if there is a Nike outfit, and maybe it will be super cheap too. Good luck! :)
well that sucks. you want to do the right thing and pay for the boys outfit but come on. you are like me and don't have spare $$ lying around to do stuff like that. if she said don't worry about it, then don't. she should have said yes i want you to pay for it.
poor joy. you don't want her to have to sit by herself. but if you gotta do it.. maybe she is telling the truth and it will come out by her sitting alone.
good luck with this one!
I would go with the gift card or find a new outfit. This one is so hard! Paige & I were just talking about this. She is reading "light his fire" great book but it talks about how in the world we are taught to lie. As soon as we fess up we are still in big trouble! Not that I'm saying she lied. I love how Peyton said she was framed!! so funny! If it makes you feel any better Carter bit his teacher last week!
I too am horrified by things my kids do at school. I am so sorry for Joy. It's no fun to be in trouble! I would have DIED if I had to call another parent (I'm sure I'll be calling someone at some time with Mr. T entering kindergarten next year...)
Good luck! And I hope that the new seating arrangement helps out!
Ok, are we sure Lightning and Joy are not related. It stinks to send them off to school terrified of what they will come up with next!
Good luck on this! I would be stuck myself too. Kids are so good at lying but yet we really do 'know' when they aren't. It's gonna be your call - see how she does with the punishment at school. Maybe she'll fess up or say "this is unfair - I didn't do it." The truth will manifest itself - always does. And I would definately be on that teacher to keep them separated! How long has she been teaching?!?! Common sense lady!
I'll be thinking of you!
I would ask the other mom and if she says no then don't bother. As for if you can trust Joy, you ask a good question. I'm having the same problem with Hope. I think she did something bad and then it turns out she wasn't responsible after all.
This parenting stuff is not easy...
Wow I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I would replace the outfit even if she said not to. A gift card is a great idea. I would also find a way for Joy to be part of the process. Earning the money someway.
The hard part is to know she if she is lying. My kids don't lie often but there have been times were I have been shocked by it (how believeable they were). Is she really mad she is being punished for something she says she did not do? In kindergarten I do not think she would be smart enough to realize she would need to act mad if she did not do it. If she just accepts it all I would think she did it. She did do it in the past. Did someone see it? She is only a child, a kindergartner. So don't be too upset, still just learning.
I do understand your feelings. I would hate to replace the outfit too. I would feel like I had to though. If some kids cut my kids clothing I would not be very happy. Hopefully its on sale. Jacob has a Nike outfit I paid a lot for. But just one piece should be okay and hopefully its on the after Christmas sales by now.
((HUGS))
Oh and having her sit by this kid again is crazy! Obviously there is a problem and they should not be together. Stupid teacher.
(debra sighing as I am not the only one this has happened to!)
I would replace the piece of clothing. Kohl's is having blow out sales right now, so I would just go buy it as opposed to getting a gift card. It will cost less. Check out their store online too. You might find it there.
My kids have never cut someone else's clothes, but they cut theirs ALL The time in Kindergarten!!! Joseph did. Oh my heck! I could have hurt him. It was school uniforms which are NOT cheap!
Lying: I cannot tell you the number of times we have had to deal with this. My 2 older kids are SOOOOOOO good at it. I always tell them that they will get in more trouble for lying than the actual misbehavior. Joseph can look you in the face and just LIE. Emma too, but sometimes I can tell.
No advice because I am in th emidst of it myself. But good luck!
I agree, either the gift card, or maybe instead, just go and buy him a nice replacement shirt and have Joy take it to him in a gift bag with a card, apologizing for what she did. Of course if she didn't actually do it and he's just "setting her up"....then it gets tough. She shouldn't have to apologize for something she didn't do. I blame the lame-o teacher!
She looks so innocent! What a hard thing to deal with. I would be mad at the teacher for putting her back! And I would think maybe he is provoking her if she did it twice. IF. I think the gift card is a good idea. Someone should really write a manual for us moms!
i think offering to pay for the outfit is a good. i liked the gift card idea. BUT maybe you need to find out what's going on & if Joy should really be in trouble for this. If she's honest with you, tell the teacher this. Hard situation.
I would be the type of person to say oh don't worry about it even if I really did want the parent to pay for it. So I would do the gift card thing or do something else.
It makes you wonder if Joy is only getting in trouble (at least with cutting stuff) with this one boy? Is there something else going on...
I hate the lying thing too. It pisses me off. Emma has been known to do this. I feel like I'm beating it out of her. We make it a HUGE deal. She was grounded for 1 week no tv and then a month no friends over. She has done SOOOO good since then.
It's soooooo hard. I feel for you.
Good luck.
Okay, I need your address because I am sending you your FAB Pay it forward gift!
junk4zoie@gmail.com
Hi Julie,
I grew up in your area & knew your brother Aaron from band. I guess you would call me a lurker. I had to comment on this one, because I think it would be great if you gave her a gift card to buy a new outfit. Also I think this is a 5 year old kid the mother is concerned for his safety. Has she ever been to kindergarten before.
These things happen in there all the time.Obviously Joy cant go cutting up other peoples shirts if she did it, But people need to relax.little kids do these things. I think after making her say sorry or some kind of redemption. Let it go & let her know your proud of her everytime she doesnt get in trouble at school. I think pointing out when things are going right goes along way more then getting angry when things go wrong. Google Howard Glasser I dont have as many children as you but his books have helped us out. I do have 4 active children and they have done similar things
thanks for the great advice anonymous. so what is your name so i can tell Aaron you come by here.I'm sure he may remember you. and Lance is going there today.
Wow, you have your hands full with her! I agree with your action to reimburse the boy's mom for the cut clothes. Hopefully the teacher has learned to keep Joy away from him :)
BTW- where the heck was the teacher when all this happened!?
Must be a first time mom, huh?? If she says not to worry about it, I wouldn't. What if Joy didn't do it?? Why should YOU have to replace it if her kid's the liar?? People need to calm down, though. That teacher TOTALLY should have separated them!!
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