Monday, February 11, 2008

busy day!.

so i had a busy day.

got the kids out the door.

Hope on the bus.

myself dressed and Pierce too so i could drop him off

So i could go to my friends mom's funeral.

My friend was fabulous , composed and amazing.

i cried. for her. her family. i am a boob.

Also for what my future holds. what if it was my mom? we aren't prepared.

is it morbid to plan ahead the things that aren't fun. the things that are hard?

like funerals in advance? even when they aren't sick.

just in case.

i don't think it is a bad thing.

my family thinks i am a fruit.

after the funeral i picked up kids. and got lunch and hung out with my sister.

she babysat.

thanks for that.

and i left in just enough time to hit sonic before i picked up the big kids from school.

came home and tried to catch up on blogging and emails. but forgot to post myself.

and i put valentines together for 2 kids. cheap cards with stickers and candy .

the kids played out back all afternoon on the teeter totter

They keep wondering when the swing set will be done. I'm thinking Saturday.

We had Family night tonight. at a park.

it was really fun.

I love my siblings and my mom.

my kids had a great time.

we picked up dinner on the way home.

and got here just in time for bedtime! whoohoo for that.

then i went to get valentines for 3 kids.

I piddled around at Target until it closed.

then i piddled around at the ghetto Walmart for another hour and a half.

and now i am blogging.

i have known for all month but I failed to mention it is cheap pie month at Marie Calendars. yum

also if you have emailed me and i haven't responded don't give up on me yet. it seems like I've been busy. and i haven't caught up on all my emails or other things i am supposed to doing or done with. (visiting teaching, a craft for craft group finished and displayed to have people sign up for, the posters for home, family and personal enrichment for next month, um what else? ) so emails? back burner. sorry.

not sure doing what but ya know i think I'm always busy-ish. but lately i feel busy. extra overwhelmed busy.

and i'm feeling crowded claustrophobic! yeah.

just a little over the top out of control crowded busy.

like there isn't enough time in the day. or enough time for me.

and yet. i can't figure out why. underlying anxiety issues maybe.

OH and i get my scan next week. maybe it is the over scheduling i have for that.

and the fact that i haven't done the low iodine diet. that i could/should have for 2 weeks before. and actually the Dr. s office and hostpital didn't call for that in my testing protocol. but i know the thyroid cancer association thinks it is worthwhile. UGH! why couldn't they have just followed guide lines , ordered it. and then there wouldn't be the whole should I or shouldn't I issue. it is a lot of effort.

and now it is too late. if i started tomorrow. I'd get a whole 8 days in before my scan dose. and I'd have to be strict, and not eat out anywhere until next Friday. and no chocolate. that sucks for valentines day.
but on the other hand , i know I'd have more faith in the test results if i do all i can to maximize the effects of the radioactive iodine.

i like to think i am totally fine with the testing , but i think i am just avoiding thoughts of it.
and squelching the anxiety i normally feel. before my tests. and really the trill of a needle in my butt two days in a row? thrilling!horrifying!

and i am over the top busy for me. and it isn't self induced , other people are relying on me to get my crap done. and i hate that. i hate being in charge of something. i hate being depended on. am i weird? sometimes i just feel like i have so much on my plate. and even more this month and then i have overextended myself. just a little. and then i can't go on two field trips next week. becuase of my testing schedule, and i can't go shopping right at 8 am for saver's 50% off day. because of it. and i can't go to Girls night out becuase i am in charge of the stupid craft group, and i am missing book club because it is the same night also. and really? this isn't working for me . i have 4 Thursdays in a month. and i have 3 things on the same night. why is that? that is lame and I'm bummed. and i have 2 Thursdays with absolutely nothing going on. UGH!

ok I'm whining, sorry. it was really an ok day. i think i'm just tired.

so i want to know ...

do you go to funerals? do you cry?

have you ever thought about your parents funeral long before it is necessary?

do you do your kids valentines or do they write their own?
(like sign their name and classmates names?)

do you do fancy ones? or cheap character ones? and is there candy added? or something else?

DID you catch that Marie Calendars is having cheap pie month? all month!

and SAVERS is having 50% off day -on Presidents day! and presidents day is next Monday. the 18th. and i can't go when it opens because i have to go get a shot in my ass.butt. damn it!

15 comments:

SuperCoolMom said...

Thanks for lunch today and for staying to visit - always a good time!

You should probably make an effort on the low iodine diet for the next week if you think it will give you more faith in the results (I guess you have to decide which will give you less stress and then just go with it.)

Let me know if you want help with your craft night - you know I love that stuff! Always glad to help.

julie said...

Ya, I think about my parents dieing quite often the older they get. There is a house between us and I think Crap, we are going to have to move when they die because I don't think I can stand driving past their house every day when they are gone. It would be easier if they lived in another town or something because then I would just pretend they were still alive and just haven't visited them lately....I know RUDE!!!Good luck with the shot in the ass...Bummer!!!

Melissa said...

I can't go to the savers 50% off sale because I totally over bought when you told me (through the blog) about the old navy sale a few weeks ago. I'm still recovering from that and trying to figure out where to put everything. My brother in law started that awful diet the day after super bowl. He has to get his 2nd treatment in a couple of weeks. My sister swears the diet is worse for her because she's the one that has to do all the shopping and cooking, but I take his side. I can't believe how limited it is. I understand why you don't want to do it. I tried to get a pie on friday night and got there at exactly 9:58 and the doors were locked- even though I could see people inside. I was bugged. As far as valentines for my kids... I do the cheap ones but always add candy and I make them write them. I haven't even thought about funerals for me or my partents. It's kind of something I don't want to think about. My husband and I have been working with an attorney recently doing a living trust and will and that's bad enough to have to plan what will happen with everything including the kids if we die. It's a hard thing to think about.

Webb Family said...

Thanks for all the info. on the sales! I do cheap Valentines & sometimes with candy. Sorry that you have to miss out on book club, I still haven't even got the book yet. What are you doing for your craft night? Good luck w/ the scan!

tammy said...

I cry at every funeral, even if I didn't really know them. I haven't thought so much about my parents' funeral as much as my own. I think of the songs I want sung. Is that weird?

Boo and I did his valentines last night too. We did a little bag with a some little play-dohs and some mini M&M's and a little card. It really was cheap even though it sounds like a lot.

Sorry you have to miss the Savers Sale. I'm thinking I should go for once. And I hate being overscheduled. Or volunteering for things, because I'm nice, but then dreading having to actually do it when I'd rather just stay home and read or hang with my family.

kay said...

you sound so overwhelmed. poor thing.

yes i cry at funerals. my dear fnl last month.

valentines mikey is 4 so he wrote his own name and i did the rest. but i only have one. and you have 5!!! so you probably have writers cramp.

hope today is a better less stressful day.

Jen said...

I may have to hit Savers since I didn't get there last friday, thanks for the remind! Sorry you can't be there!! And sorry your stressing over everything you have going on. I hate months like that, I will be in charge of Enrichment night next month, I have to freaking teach another crockpot cooking class! I knew I should have really stunk at the other one!!

Cheap valentines here, Corbin will sign them all and I will assemble them.

Yep, we have thought about funerals. Unfortunately when I was preggo with Corbin one of Jeff's good friends lost their son and were totally caught off guard on all the expense and decisions, so with watching them go through it we have started planning and have life insurance on everyone to cover all that crap. I figure everything else I will deal with when the time comes, and I am pretty sure my Mom and Dad have planned ahead also, at least I know where all their important papers are kept (LOL, guess it does pay to have a worry wart for a Mom!)

donna said...

wow what a day you had. BUSY!!!!!! I am not a big fan of funerals. I only have been to a few.

Good luck with the test. keep us updated.

Laura said...

You have a lot going on but I bet its your health issues that pushing you over the edge. I think as mothers we tend to be okay being everything for everyone else but when it comes to taking care of ourselves we don't know how to do it as well.

I have been through a lot of the thyroid cancer thing with my sister in law and I am stunned that did not have you do the diet. Without the diet your scan will be a lot less accurate! That being said my sister in law has always done it strickly for two weeks. Last time the radiologist said that the only reason they make her do two weeks is to make sure that people follow it. Since my sister in law is so strict with it he told her 5 days was fine. So you still have plenty of time to do it. I have the recipe book and guidelines if you want to do it. Starving the body of iodine makes a better picture on your scan because the body will suck up the tracer dose and light up all the areas for view. In her case it will also help the body absorb the dose of radiation she will be taking (something I know you are not doing). I hope I haven't overwhelmed you. If you use the recipes and prepare the diet isn't so bad... minus the no chocolate order. I think your doctor really is dropping the ball on you and its just terrible! Big ((HUGS)) coming your way. Email me if you want or need more info or support.

blah, blah by lindsey said...

that funeral was especially hard for me. i don't know it if because of feeling so bad for sherida or that she suffered for so long.

i think it is cause i am jealous of the relationship she had with her mom. i am so glad you were there.

blah, blah by lindsey said...

on another note....i love being in charge of stuff, it helps me forget my reality.

Are You Serious! said...

♥ I feel your stress and that's just from reading! I can't imagine being in your place. I hope that things go well and that the no iron diet goes by quickly.

I tear up at funerals if someone says something touching. Usually it not so much that the person is gone but the meaningful stories that people tell. Like president Hinckley I'd be totally fine and laughing and then tearing up! :)

I think more about my grandparents passing then I do of my own parents. They still seem fairly young too me especially w/3 grandparents left.

As for valentines stuff. I have Emma write out the names and she loves it. Last night she did hers and I didn't have do a thing. I use cheap character cards and then this year Emma glue sticked a dove heart on them...

Good luck this week and I hope everything goes smooth.

janna said...

I hate funerals. And I hate the day that my oldest dd will die. I am reminded of her everytime I go to a funeral. (Most kids die young with the syndrome she has) But she has been lucky....

& yes I cry.


Enjoy your shopping and try not to worry about the scan so much!

Email me

Wendi said...

A friend of mine in the ward passed away yesterday. It was very sudden and unexpected. Yes, I cried the whole day, I was at the hospital with the family when we lost her. Then I helped them plan the funeral. It will by my fourth funeral in a month. Very sad.

Paige said...

i hate being so busy too! i love hearing about your day have a good one.

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