otherwise delightful . dread, fear,failures, and angst - my parent teacher conferences.

well i made it to 3 out of 4 conferences today. one was conflicting with my extra long one that included the speech teacher.

21 tardies! WHOOHOOO! i think that's a record for us so far.

of course it says on the report cards that it effects their grade. because it has to, but seriously?

how could it?

one teacher said, yeah only if they gave out 4 pluses since that kid got all 4's.

they were all the same.

Then a couple kids opt out of homework. and face consequences.

fine by me. i did warn that teacher though that lets them stay in at recess to complete the work, and then go out. they just might like not going to recess. and then it's not much of a punishment.

anyway. not bad. and then i heard from another teacher, that said we are the first ones to get scheduled. since they start with the most siblings at the school. anyone more than 3? let's do those kids first then.

Next year, there will be 5 there all day. tardy every day. i have to assume.

conferences will be a marathon afternoon for me. i go back and forth. they kind of already are marathonish. 3rd grade. 1st. 2nd. 4th. ELP, speech.

whee!

we are having lasagna tonight. we actually thought about it in enough time to eat at a normal time. yay.

high point of the day? i got hot french bread at Albertson's. 2 for dinner. and an extra loaf for a snack. WHOOHOO! yummy!

low point of the day? getting out of bed (after feeling puketastic all day) to find a shovel and a pile of yard dirt in the dining room. on the floor. and on a bench set up with cups, water, and digging tools. yay now i get to sweep.

so that's what i'm up to. i guess i better go recover from the messes that were made while i was sick in bed, sleeping.

and YES, I did lay in bed all day feeling gross, and then go chat with my kids teachers. who else was going to go conference? and how would they reschedule that? i had to go.

i get to go conference with the ELP teacher tomorrow. and chat over the phone with Peyton's teacher. that should be delightful.

anyone else stress over going to conferences? and then doubt the validity of the statements that their kids are delightful, and intelligent?
or is that just me?

i feel a rant coming on about ADD or ADHD . and not medicating.

let me just say right now that i feel i would have less bagage now as an adult, if i would have been medicated as a child for ADHD. sure i coped fine. but i KNOW i would have felt so much more successful and happy if i wouldn't have felt like such a failure in school.

kids learn to cope with ADD/ADHD different ways.

sure they can get their work done fine if you sit next to them one on one, while they do their homework or their class work, helping them. keeping them focused.

but that isn't real life. you can't always sit there keeping your kid on task. helping them focus enough to get the job done.

you can't do that forever. highschool? college? in the job force? when will you say you've helped them enough? when will it no longer be socially acceptable to do your kids work for them? to write their reports? to summarize the chapters?

i wish my mom could come sit with me every day and help me stay focused enough to clean my room. or do the laundry. or another other lame chore that i can't manage to get done.

behavior modification helps. there are skills that can be taught that can manage some of the lack of focus. but those are tools just like medication is a tool. it's not the only answer. and frankly it doesn't fix everything. BUT it's a tool that if you use it properly with the right combination of other coping skills taught to a child, or adult, they can feel successful. and manage life with ADHD.

my point is, i felt like a failure in school , always not performing up to my potential. but my ADD was subtle. i wasn't medicated.

my residual feelings of failure still effect how i feel approaching conferences. the dread i feel going has nothing to do with my kids.

it's all me. and my bad vibes about school.

my fear of timed tests.

my dread of homwork.

my issues with adults in authority.

my angst over report cards.

my failures.

UGH! you'd think i'd be over it. but somehow i missed how to move past it. or maybe it's the school we go to. except i had these issues at other schools. for other conferences.

i just hope someday , because i care enough to medicate my kids and give them the best chance they have to feel successful all on their own. someday they won't have these issues.

and yeah after my issues conferences were OTHERWISE DELIGHTFUL!