shopping with crazymama.

this afternoon i had the pleasureTORTURE of taking 4 kids to the grocery store with me.

BACK STORY:

i wanted to maximize the sale on 88 cent Dr.Pepper 2 liters and half gallons of milk.

Pierce caught wind that i was leaving and Lance guilted me into taking him. he loves to go, but never gets to.

then Liberty remembered that in 2 days she and Paxton and Peyton all have Field trips and they HAVE TO HAVE lunchables for field trips.

THE EVENTS AS THEY OCCURED:

while i was wetting down my post nap afflicted hairdo, Liberty rounded up the other field trippers and they unanimously decided to join me and Pierce for this quickie grocery store run.

WHAaaatTTTT?????????? WHY MEEEEEEEEEEE!?! oh yeah it's because i'm the mother. bah humbug grumble grumble.

we head to the little car where i wrestled Pierce into his car seat. while threatening to leave him home with Dad if he didn't get in.

the big kids called dibs on who got to ride in the front seat. and called dibs for the ride home.

we arrive at our neighborhood grocery store. i unload the baby while the big kids unload themselves.

we head up to the cart corral. Where Pierce hopped into the stinking car cart. i HATE THE CAR CART! sure it's fun , but SO ANNOYING! honking the horn. getting out because there is a little too much freedom compared to riding in the front of the cart where they are perched up high in the designated baby area versus low to the ground with limited restraint. grabbing crap off the shelves as i walk by.

Peyton hopped in with him.

yes. my oldest and my youngest riding in the car cart. CLASSY. but since he's ten it was hard pushing. with that boaty beast of a cart.

normally i'm a browser. i wander the aisles looking for the bargains, or what looks good. what sounds good right then, that is how i do my grocery shopping normally NOT TODAY!

we grabbed what i had on my mental list. and what impulse items looked good on the way to the next item.

Dr.Pepper. milk, lunchables, and that is it. we got 3 boxes of cereal, and 3 bags of pink marshmallows too. because they were on the route, and on sale.

over by the milk Paxton asserted it was his turn to ride in the car with Pierce so he ousted Peyton.

Peyton happily hopped out but Pierce was not pleased and proceeded to throw a fit.

since the milk is strategically placed at the back of the store it was a long drive to the front to the registers.

we had a near accident with another cart pusher in a hurry while dishing out dirty looks for having the stupid car cart AND kids tagging alongside.

by the time we got to the register i'd reached my limit. and had sworn off ever bringing anyone grocery shopping again (i mean for another six months until i get roped into it or guilted ,whichever comes first)

the cashier gave me dirty looks for not being prepared with my shopper advantage card and debit card pre swiped.

because instead i was returning the nerds rope Pierce had swiped off the candy rack at the register, on his way by to the bagger . dang car cart!

i paid and made as speedy an exit i could when pierce flopped himself out of the car cart, and onto the floor in an escape attempt while having a fit. i scooped him up and put him in the designated baby perch (where he belongs), Peyton gladly hopped in and rode with Paxton out to the car inside the CAR CART!

WE ARE DORKS!

we got back out to our car. the kids all hopped in, fighting over who got to ride in front on the way home it escalated to hitting and smacking each other.while i was left to unload the bags of groceries and the baby. i even put my car cart in the cart corral when i was done.

i NEVER DO THAT! (considering it's job security for the cart boys)

on the way out of the parking lot Pierce poked Paxton in the eye. Paxton hit him back and i'm yelling at everyone to cut it out! 3 people are hanging their heads out of the windows like dogs blowing in the breeze, and THIS IS WHY I SHOP ALONE , in the middle of the night at 24 hour stores!

Random thoughts that occurred to me during this adventure?

how handy it suddenly is that the car cart could fit 4 kids. 2 in the car and 2 in the baby perch. WHY couldn't they have been that way when i had 4 kids in diapers? WHY NOT? i say too little too late car cart! i still hate you!

THEN. why are cashiers overly nice and friendly when i'm alone shopping at the grocery store, but they give me dirty looks when i have children en tow? HMMM? WHY?

while shopping i thought about what was for dinner. before my trip I'd planned on cooking something. by the time we got home? HECK NO! we had cereal for dinner. good thing we bought cereal and Milk because after that 'fun' i was NOT cooking!

how did i manage to grocery shop before , long ago, when i took 5 little kids with me to every store there ever was? and why am i pathetically ill equipped to tolerate taking any kids shopping with me now?

in the end i decided no bargain was worth the effort , and the humiliation of taking the kids shopping ! i record this adventure to refer back to later. so i will NOT be roped into or guilted into taking people shopping when i'm just attempting to maximize a sale.

OH and while i was driving home i remembered a conversation i had with Lance this afternoon regarding my signature colors. he called them Pissy Pink and Bitchy Black! on the way home from the store i had to admit to myself that THOSE WERE INCREDIBLY ACCURATE NAMES FOR WHAT I WAS WEARING AND FOR MY ATTITUDE!

isn't that sweet? he knows me so well! AWWW!

LOL!