Sunday, July 4, 2010

the secrets to my success...

once in awhile. i come off like I've really got it together.

whether i ACTUALLY do or not is a moot point but go with me here,

usually it's when I've been hanging out with people who may or may not be impressed with my mothering skills. and of course this praise is coming from friends that each have one or two kids and can't imagine having 6 and it's then that i am (seemingly) coming off as skilled.

i mean I do have a herd of cute, moderately well behaved, semi polite kids (if you ignore the burping). and i manage to not lose it in front of anyone the whole time.

people are fed, everyone is present and accounted for, getting along etc. what can I say? i'm a multitask-er and fairly successful at it.

so sure, in that regard I've got my shiz together!?! RIGHT?!

Whew. yeah, so i thought I'd share some of the secrets of my success. for those that might need a tip or two from a Pro! ;)


Tip #1. how to get 6 kids to go to bed as painlessly as possible?

take them swimming and don't take them home the first 15 times they ask. sure they might be tired, BUT if they won't get out of the pool and sit out long enough to dry off and keep getting back in, they MUST be wanting to stay and swim longer.

FACT: swimming wears kids out, everyone should do it everyday.


Tip #2: the best way to immunize against adverse reactions to high fructose corn syrup/sugar /red dye?

also see: how to condition your kids to eat sugar and not have it effect them in the slightest?

give them daily sugar. all they want. sure it's bad for their teeth, but my kids can drink unlimited amounts of Capri-suns and consume multiple cookies and cupcakes and still crash hard as soon as they sit still. sugar doesn't effect them (best when combined with tip #1.)

Note to self: take the blue frosted cupcake out of their hand once they are asleep or they will roll and smoosh it.


Tip #3: How to get the family hypochondriac to stop whining?

Promise her an ibuprofen when she gets home. also tell her she can get out of the pool and sit on the side if it hurts so bad.

it stops her for a good long time.

Note: she will remind you about the ibuprofen AND the pain in her neck as soon as you get in the door. she will also finagle a space on your bed for the night since dad is out of town and there is a vacancy.



well those are my tips for tonight. I'm thinking this could be a weekly feature. ya know since I've got mad skillz! ;)

let me know what you think? you likey? or no likey?

P.S. happy 4th. a more patriotic post may or may not come later. we'll see if i can get a turn on the computer or not.

;)






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© 2010 crazymamaof6

4 comments:

Dave'sWife said...

these are freaking hilarious! Keep em coming! Do you have any good tips on how to get a 16 month old to actually sleep through the night? If so, I would L♥VE to hear!

CassiB said...

love it! keep them coming.

DeAnna said...

AHHH YES... ME LIKEY! SPECIALLY THE SUGAR... MAKE EM IMMUNE TO IT AND ... NO PROBLEMO!!

DeAnna said...

AHHH YES... ME LIKEY! SPECIALLY THE SUGAR... MAKE EM IMMUNE TO IT AND ... NO PROBLEMO!!

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