Saturday, January 21, 2012

She remembered...

Why popcorn was banned from her household.

There is a story behind it, feel free to read on.

She remembered, THIS IS WHY Popcorn is banned.

As she cleaned up baby vomit, after he'd choked on some after he'd been served a plentiful pile of white fluffiness on the floor, in the loft this morning.

She yelled down the stairs, to the 11 year old who was casually hiding out and playing computer at the kitchen table to, find the freaking vacuum, and bring it upstairs!

His attempt at locating it, was futile, and the ever elusive vacuum was so deeply disguised by the love seat in the living room, She could understand the confusion and difficulty in locating it but was irritated she had to get up and point it out to him.

The Vacuum was unearthed, the paper towels to clean up the vomit, were hidden in plain sight and delivered.

she remembered again, when she stepped in the wet spot, while vacuuming the previously banned popped corn.

The vomit, subsequent outfit change and attempt to clean up the mess, triggered a bawling fit from the baby who was hungry and ready for his morning nap.

The bawling fit and lack of obedience in her other children sent their mother (also known as she) into a downward spiral of dreams of running away, of why me's and I hate my life thoughts.

Which triggered a trip into the bathroom where the 5 and 7 year olds were ignoring her demands for paper towels and vacuum delivery to the scene of the crime.

she discovered a slimy counter in the hall bathroom, covered in a combination of grapefruit facial wash, generic kiddie shampoo (mango scented) and Mr. Clean spray. They'd been "washing the counters", of her previously, freshly cleaned by the paid help on Thursday.

oh what a waste that was now. She discovered a large pink bowl of popcorn in the bathroom with them. apparently, when She said," go eat that crap outside, it is once again banned from the house," they thought She meant the hall bathroom.

Once she discovered the slimy countertop she instructed the 5 year old and 7 year old to clean it up.

While She located and washed out a bottle, changed the baby's diaper and put him down for his nap in her bed.

She found them hanging out in the baby's room. The 5 year old perched on the top of the flimsy ikea closet, and eating the popcorn.

The Mother roared something about how, "eating the popcorn outside, did not mean on top of a closet in the babies room , get down immediately".

His response was something like, "i know how to get up here, so i did."

he was saved from a beating by posing for a picture half way up to the top. the 7 year old posed too.

The Mother, then went into the bathroom and wiped down the counters herself, and grumbled and planned on running the shower where she could cry alone.

She cursed the scouting program and the weekend, and decided she needed a night out, and a stiff drink.

She sang the chorus in her head.

how did I get here?

same as it ever was, same as it ever was, SAME AS IT EVER WAS...

and popcorn is once again on the banned list, along with playdoh, silly putty, popsicles and pudding cups.

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© 2011 crazymamaof6


Jeannie said...

So funny!!

Eliza said...

And styrofoam! And I just pray my husband never gets to enjoy the wonders of that calling, you poor thing!

Mamarazzi said...

oh my. i cannot stop laughing. i know this is not supportive whatsoever but your life with 7 children thrills me and i find it very entertaining.

is it weird that i am a little jealous too?

exciting times, my friend, exciting times!

One Fantastic Housewife! said...

POPSICLES! I think I just heard all 3 of my kids GASP! all the way from school! They are popsicle freaks! They say that one day we will look back and miss this chaos. I'm writing down the names of everyone who tells me that. lol

tammy said...

I love the way you told this. So funny! My banned list always included playdoh. And remember that Moon Sand? UGH!! That soon got stuck in the garage to be forgotten so I could throw it away.

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