Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Pathetic outfit! Long day!

toady i tried the layered look with the short dress and capris underneath. not sure it was cute.
It was a black and white swirl print with red binding on the scoop neck and the puff sleeves. and denim tight capris with black and white heeled sandals. it could have been cute but the dress was a touch longer than necessary . and not truly flattering. and I should have worn a modest tee under it then my g's would not have peeked out of the little too large neck. I don't get how it was too big because it really a size smaller than I normally wear. and if I wasn't concerned with the gapey neck line I would have been comfortable at least.
After I picked up Joy I went to the medical imaging place to pick up films of an ultrasound from last October. It is going to be 48 hours because since it has passed the six month mark, they have to get them from storage , instead of the 24 hour wait I was expecting. So I won't have the the films for my appointment to compare them with tomorrow's ultrasound. The Dr. didn't ask for them but I figured it is always better to be prepared. so now I won't be tomorrow, but I'll have them in the future if needed. I have tons of my medical records, CT scans, MRI reports, labs, pathology reports and surgery reports. I found out the hard way I am my own best advocate. as far as my health goes. I no longer go blindly along trusting what my Dr.s tell me. I only found out I had cancer because I read the surgical pathology report. That and the cancer registry letters I started getting. My dr. failed to tell me about the cancer diagnosis. He sucks and I never went back. and i have no grounds for a malpractice suit. i tried. AHHH , delight.
I'm sure you are glad you checked back today! sorry. CANCER!CANCER!CANCER! I don't have the worst kind of cancer to begin with but now it is advanced cancer, but I'm still stage one maybe two but only because I am so young. even if it really did spread to my lung and my lymph nodes I'm only stage one or two. and I won't die from it, but it still sucks and I am not happy about it. Some times i feel like telling people they suck if they tell me my cancer is the "good cancer" or its "curable"! or it's better than some other kind of cancer. It's ok for me to say it but not anyone else. My cancer is cancer and if it is so great they can have it. I'm not talking about you people that read my blog, there are maybe five of you but I'm talking about relatives that shall remain nameless. That think they are being helpful and encouraging but really they are minimizing my struggles with it. My emotional struggles are way harder than the physical ones, and the physical ones are not so great. And they leave scars! and make me fat! who wants to be fatter! not me. ok well kids are home time to pull it together. have a good one!

4 comments:

Brooke said...

Wow, I really had no idea how serious it really was. You are the most cheerful and happy person, you amaze me! If you ever need help let me know.

Jen said...

Julie, do I need to beat someone up for you? I totally will! Ok that is what Jeff would always tell me during our infertility trial and someone would make an ignorant comment. It would always make me laugh, hope it does the same for you! More good luck vibes you way, and I am soooo happy you have a great Dr now!

Toot said...

Oh man! I had this really great comment, but it disappeared when I had to re-enter my password and sign up again since I never verified my email.... uggg! Call me for details, but the funniest part was your possible response to lame family/friend comments... Lances approach for things like when a girl at MCC commented something like, "your shirt is out of style!" and Lance turned to her and said, "You're ugly/fat and I can change my shirt!" You can say, "it's a good thing you have a husband/wife, so your children can have at least ONE intelligent parent!!!" Let me know if you try it ;)

Lindsey said...

I honestly think that people need to think before they talk. No one understands your struggles but you and saying you have good cancer, I don't think that is very cheerful or would make me feel better either. Let me know how your appt goes. See ya Friday.

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