guess what? i need to confess something.

i am a gossip WHORE!

truth!

yeah i gossip sometimes. i like to.

it isn't right and i know that.

honestly sometimes. it is by accident that i reveal secrets i shouldn't tell. and if i get caught i apologize.

and sometimes i tell stuff so others can understand the back story. the part that not everyone knows but so people can understand where a friend is coming from.

and again if i get caught i am sure to apologize. and think twice . but sometimes it is a relief to know that other people know stuff that they didn't have to tell themselves. like a friends spouse dies. someone has not a great marraige it is generally the type of gossip said in sympathy for the person being talked about.

sometimes i gossip about how people spend their money.

or how they dress.

Or how they dress their kids or do their hair.

and i am not generally judging. i fully realize everyone has their priority's, and taste. and really sometimes i feel like gossiping is nicer than confronting people all the time. i am not a fan of confronting people. OR a fan of being confronted on things. and generally when people confront me i have residual resentment. towards that person.


ok and i just need to clarify. I PLAYED A PART TO THE WILD BUNKO BREAK UP.
i did. and i learned from that. and am now trying to get past it. i admit i got sucked in and emailed back and forth. between more than a couple people. it wasn't nice. i apologized. didn't i say in the WTH post i apologized?
yeah i did.
so here we are i just wanted to say I TOTALLY PARTICIPATED IN HIGH SCHOOL BEHAVIOR! and added to the drama.
and just in case someone missed it I APOLOGIZE! I AM SORRY! I WILL TRY NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN!

are we clear here?

just making sure everyone knows i suck.

do you feel better?
i do.

oh and i will add i raised a stink. in my girls night out group. totally. i made i big issue about new people inviting new people every month. and i discussed it with my freind i had an issue with. and i discussed it with other people that weren't happy with it either. and I REMOVED MYSELF FROM THE GROUP. and i haven't been back. i can still go. they still want me to come. i think? but it hasn't worked out. and when i go it will be fun. but i removed myself from the drama. if i go back i am not totally invested in it. we are still friends. we still can go to lunch. yes it is awkward. and i regret tackling something that really didn't bug me that much but it bugged other people . i made it my issue. and you know i am still living with that choice . and i regret it.

I'm sorry to those people too.

and this all happened around the same time.

i was in a funk.

i have reflected on it. and am TRYING TO GROW UP AND MOVE ON. still trying. but FYI i have gossiped. i do sometimes. i think everyone does sometimes.

generally i don't say anything meaning to hurt anyone.

and key thing is I apologize. sincerely. that is the big thing. if i know someone had their feelings hurt i apologize.

if i realize i said too much i say sorry.

I admit i am not perfect.

and seriously who doesn't want to know secrets?

but i don't gossip with the intent to hurt anyone.

I AM HIGH SCHOOL.

the first step to fixing something is admitting you have a problem.

here we are. i admit it . consider yourself warned.