feeling perturbed about a stalker, getting unfriended on facebook and the natural progression to going private..
just so you know.... i'm irritated.
TOTALLY perturbed.
almost on the verge of going private. and yet, i totally don't want to go private. that would be a HUGE PAIN but really what are my options?
i'll tell you the scenario that has me miffed.
i had a friend on facebook that happened to be an old boy friend. meaning friend that was a boy. that i happened to date . (it could have been more but it wasn't. and i may have broken his heart at some point)
but since there were no hot make outs, or a DTR talks (define the relationship) ever, it wasn't typical boyfriend status . anyway. old friend on facebook.
we caught up, and then we became friends that would message or chat. normal daily crap. nothing inappropriate, some walks down memory lane . nothing risque. nothing much. and he'd read my blog sometimes. i'd comment on his status, etc.
recently this friend suddenly unfriended me. out of the blue. on facebook.
my first thought was OH MY GOSH! what happened? (peeved,hurt,surprised etc)
Lance's first thought was , "HIS WIFE FOUND OUT AND WAS MAD! maybe she didn't know you were chatting as much as you were. she was mad he was keeping it on the down low. i bet she kicked you off, before she even confronted him. "
the other couple people i discussed with, thought the same as Lance.
i emailed him on his regular email. but i was either expecting for him to say yeah my wife is mad we can't be friends now. OR something like that. or maybe that he was irritated for another reason.
instead i got a MEAN EMAIL BACK! 2 lines, saying he did it hoping i'd get the picture, and that i was taking too much of his time, and he didn't have enough time for his other friends.
(which didn't sound like him at all. plus he had already told me he didn't have many friends but i kind of bought it. Lance thought it sounded petty and mean like a girl so his wife did the reply or approved it or dictated it.)
my response was OH OK FINE! be that way!
actually i didn't respond at all. figuring i'd leave it alone. really what is one suddenly gone when i still have over 200. and if he didn't want to see my profile what do i care? (mine is totally private. his is wide open to the public)
but i continued to see his hits on my blog.
then i saw a bunch from his WIFE! or someone reading my blog, the same pages he'd read even coming from a message with links to my blog(the referral link showed up on my sitemeter).
and then i saw a hit from her work. and i know it's her work because i googled it. and searched on the company website. and found her name, and even extension #. which I'm not using but it did give me proof that she did in fact work at that place.
and the reading my blog thing is BUGGING ME!
i'm super irritated by it.
and i can't just not look, i have to know. i'm obsessive that way.
SO! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
do i leave it alone?
Do i go private?
do i call him out? (kind of like this?)
it's making me PISSY!
maybe i'm wrong. maybe it isn't him checking it daily?
but i KNOW it was her. probably checking the history on the computer checking out what pages he read. or looking for something in particular.
it still bugs me.
would it bug you?
so let me know what you think.
everyone that wants to be invited to my blog if it goes private should email me.
OR maybe he wants to come out of the closet. admit he's reading it. and tell me the real story?! spill it. or i will really have to go private. it bugs me too much.
and let me just tell you i hate private blogs. i find them to be HUGELY ANNOYING!
and would 110% rather not go private.
so does anyone have a stalker?
care to share the story?
and i fully realize it's totally petty and high school-ish that i even care. but it bugs me, i know it isn't rational but since when have i ever said i was mature, rational, or not Petty??
i haven't .
so this is my progression to a private blog? LAME! Lame that it has come to this. LAME!
AND note i can fully accept that he may not want to be my friend. OR maybe that his wife was mad, and he's not allowed to be my friend. i can respect that. i can't say i wouldn't be peeved too if it was me. BUT i does bug me they are reading my blog. if he's not my friend why should he get the wonder of the blog?
and we all know this blog is full of WONDER !
37 comments:
I have no idea what you should do. I had to give up checking my sitemeter too much. It was driving me crazy to know if people were reading my blog or not and where they came from and what keywords they used to find me.
Maybe this will help: most new hits on my blog are from people searching the phrase "funeral scriptures." Yep. I get at least 20 a day. Does that make you feel just a little bit better?
I'm kinda new at blogging so I'm not sure how the whole site meter works. I would be really peeved too though. If you go private please include me. Your blog is funny and inspiring.
Yikes, sounds like an interesting situation. Not sure what I would do...thought I personally hope you don't got private!!
Dang!!!! I had to go private for a while and did not like it. Good Luck and you know I want in:) I may not always have time to comment, but I am always checkin in.
That really sucks! I'm sorry you have to go through that.
I don't like private blogs, so I feel your pain, however if you do go private I will still follow you and all your WONDER!
Good Luck!
Well . . . I guess look at it maybe from her situation . . . could she be self conscious in her relationship?? Maybe he hasn't been doing inappropriate things with you but maybe somewhere else?? Checking his history maybe how she is keeping tabs on a behavior? And maybe she checked it and fell in love with you candor and can't stop checking in for the next fun post . . .
I think in life we have to remember that other people have their own set of problems . . . life isn't always perfect, and we don't always know what is going on in someone else's home . . .
So, on my long soap box . . . I vote ignore the hits . . . don't go private because it isn't effecting your home, family, or marriage! There is my vote, don't go private . . . too much hassle and it isn't destructive . . . just shrug it off your back and move on!!
Totally annoying, but what I would do(easier said then done) is wouldnt give them the satisfaction of letting them know it bugs you. Just move on and let them be petty and silly on their own. It sounds to me like a wife who doesnt trust her husband!
Private blogs are totally annoying, but you know that if you do go private, I want in! hehe
PS Ok, how do you knows that you get dissed as a friend on FB? I think it might have happened to me! I dont know why, but she dissappeared all of a sudden. I am not sad about it at all, just curious.
Dang, I don't know what to say either. sometimes blogging brings out Highschool but I love it none the less. I want in on your blof if you go private. Don't worry about her. feel great, that you are one hot woman.
maybe one day his wife will leave her purse lying around, and he can sneak in there and steal his balls back. maybe then you will find out the real reason.
until then, she's got them safely stashed in the "security pocket" of her purse, next to her emergency maxi-pads and earrings she took out because they hurt.
was this someone we know?
oh, and if you go private, i'm in.
First... if I am NOT included in the whole private party thing, I might have to un-friend you on FB, too. ;)
Second, can I borrow your stalker? It might make my little blog feel important for a couple of days. :)
I am SO Sorry! What hard spot to be in. Maybe tomorrow will bring a new perspective. If you do go privite I want to be in!
LAME!! What a pain in the BUTT. I would have to agree with you. I hate knowing something is going on behind my back. It totally could have been handled WAY differently. If you go private I want in. I think you have my email address.
THIS is why I hate the internet and how ANYONE can find out ANYTHING about you!!! It's sooo annoying! Well...you already know my answer...PRIVATE! I know you hate it but if you were then you would always be logged in to yours making mine that much easier to get too! :) Yeah....that was totally selfish there! I do feel for the wife though....been there done that and it's a scary world out there! maybe you were his one lost love that he still has those hopefuly feelings for and she knows it or something and it makes her mad! I can't blame her but she shouldn't cyber stalk you either! Neither should he! Hopefully this post will make them either stop or confess....and make your life easier! Oh...I am soooo happy you brought back the comments! :) Hugs!
Oh and if you do go private....count me in! I couldn't go without you girl! :)
Holy Crap that is crazy. I'd be very currious too if I was you.
Hey sorry I haven't been around apparently I am not following you anymore. And I want to be. Like five people I was reading and following by the following link fell off my racker. And I couldn't figure out who. And then THEN I realized what was missing. YOU! Your humor! Your fun/crazy/entertaining life! I've missed you. And I hope I am still welcome here.
Good luck with this drama though. It does sound a lot like the wife. Sorry 'bout that!
PS--don't you just love live traffic feeds! Some people are too dumb to figure out that you actually KNOW who is looking at your blog and when and what! It's great! I only have one on my photoblog because well...my family one is private so why bother! It's great fun to see who is looking at my work though! :) HUGS again!!!
I would just take it as a compliment because obviously she finds you interesting enough to check you all the time! She now knows that you know it's her and just tell her to "bring it on baby, read all you want"!!!!
dude, don't go private. let those people get their rocks off reading about your fun life wishing they had as much fun. they are lame. i know what you mean though. i wish i could block my sister in law from reading our blog, just cuz she is a snarky biznich and i hate that she reads it EVERYDAY and never comments. she doesn't comment cuz she knows it bugs me. i have thoughts about going private but i know how i am about reading private blogs. i just am so bad about it and i LOVE most of the blogs that i am invited to...i just never remember to check in on them. but i am also sucking about reading everyones blogs lately. life has just been nuts. it seems to be calming down a little though...
if you go private include me. if those people continue to stalk your blog call them out on it...if you have her phone # call her. just ask her whats up. maybe her lame husband was trying to get some attention from her using you. ya never know with people...crazy!
Well, I would say this post counts as a full-on "call out". And I'm totally cracking up about it....I would be weirded out and peeved too! And I don't think I've ever had a stalker....I hope not anyway.....but now I'm nervous. What if I do and don't know?! Eek! Oh well, my blog has been so quiet with no posting lately that I'm sure they'd have given up by now. :)
Back to your issue....before you go private, I'd wait and see what happens after this post. They should get the hint at this point and go away! If not, then do what you feel is best. But I'm emailing you for an invite!:)
Do not go private or they are winning. Even if it isn't/wasn't a competition, they won. You have nothing to hide and should embrace your blog for all its fabulousness. Let them lurk in the background and read if they want. Who cares? They don't deserve your attention in being irritated.
And let go of the site meter. Don't obsess over who is or isn't reading it cuz your blog is awesome and I'd be shocked if people didn't want to read it!!
Hallie
Maybe you just need to do an old boyfriend post and let the Mrs. know that hubby wasn't even in the Top 10. Perhaps that will ease her fears.
I am not sure exactly what to say. I agree with some of the other ladies, and if you go private, you are only letting her win.
If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn't worry about her.
But if you do go private, I would love an invite!!
You cant go private !!! What will I read every day to get a good laugh!!!
Mindy
If you go private I want to go with you. I don't always comment but do always read. :0) If it was me I would be able to just ignore them (I think). Maybe he does have feelings for you and she's jealous so that's why she's always reading....to see if you're arranging for some secret meeting with him via your blog. Oh, I know, and take all six kids with you. Guys think six kids hanging around is sexy!! lol Just forget them both.
This post is the only thing you need to do and it is perfect!!!!!!
You have successfully told the girl, "Gotcha!". It just proves how insecure that girl is with her marriage. I don't think that email was the boy either.
Here's the thing, facebook can be a little crazy. An old boy (seems like the same thing as you except WITH the kissy-face) added me as a friend with a personal letter saying he has thought about me. All those emotions came back. Except I am secure enough in my marriage, that I told my husband all about it.
I think the boy had those thoughts, probably thought he shouldn't, and his wife found out and got mad.
More power to you for pissing her off by catching her. It is not your fault you are sticking around in your marriage and hers will probably fall apart due to insecurities.
If you feel the need to go private, I totally understand, but please include me in.
AAAGHH! I have a x-friend too, although mine is a girl. she chose not to be my friend anymore, because of misinformation she received that she blew way out of proportion, yet she still checks on my blog. And she made hers private. Go figure. I don't have any wonderful words of advice for you. I just decided to forget about it and move on. But, I am not sure if I would feel differently if it was an old guy friend. Anyway, good luck! (oh, and I liked super cool mom's suggestion. Maybe that would work!)
Okay, I am totally laughing, I probably shouldn't but you couldn't make this stuff up if you tried. It's too hilarious. What some people will do...
I'm sorry that all this weird stuff is happening. I don't know what I'd do. Maybe go private. Maybe just ignore it and it'll go away on it's own.
See, you never should have gotten involved with FACEBOOK! I hate facebook. hehehehe.
Good luck. What a pain.
OK, I think this post totally outted them. They will know you know. I would not even have a clue how to find out that info. Good for you. If it keeps up, get a hold of them and tell them you are going privite and since they're on so much would they like to pay $ for a invite? Please let us know if you do go privite, I need a invite... I love,love,love your blog.
What a schmo, or his wife is... either way!
If you go private, I need an invite girl! Oh and hell yes I'd be irritated!!
♥ I'd ignore it... I got tired of trying to figure out who was looking at my blog with sitemeter! How do you tell all that stuff??? :)
Now if it got scary weird then I'd go private but if they're just checking it out, cause they're nosey, let them... :)
I recently received an email from someone who found my blog through a weird coincidence. The whole situation creeped me out and every time I see their location on my sitemeter I hate it. I just don't want to be easily found. I do check and I am almost never found in a google search so for now I try to relax. I have thought seriously about going private but feel I would loose a lot of readers. I personally just can't keep up with the privates the way I want to.
As for you, I would ignore it and move on. They are the ones with issues, not you. Don't punish us. That being said I would want in if you went private LOL! It sounds like his wife has all sorts of issues.
That sucks! YOu can't go private!
I'm a little late on commenting on this post, but I really want to know the end of this story and why everything is okay and why you aren't going private anymore. Really I hope you tell. But if you ever do go private, please invite me.
Well, I have been skulking around a little and neglecting blogging in a big way....but don't let these weird people get to you....the problem is between them, and they must have some big ones, for the wife to pull all of this crazy s**t...
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