sometimes imitated , never duplicated CRAZYMAMA! (feeling almost famous and slightly horrified.)

I've been feeling almost famous lately.

there have been CRAZYMAMA sightings!

i can't go anywhere these days without being spotted. CRAZYMAMA spotted.

Tonight i was at Pei wei with Lance on our hot date.

only i hadn't planned on going out when we left the house so i had no makeup on. i kind of complained that i didn't have it with me, since i'd planned on going home first to get it before we went out. it didn't work out like planned, and we just went out without really being ready.

and i said WHAT IF SOMEONE SEES ME? ya know since i'm almost famous. kidding and yet knowing i'd be horrified if i ran into someone i knew looking like THIS...

THEN...

we'd just finished eating when i spotted a blogger walk in. hmm, i know her. i met her once.
she's friends with this friend and this friend. but i was hoping she wouldn't see me. and maybe she wouldn't recognize me.

then, CARA came in. and i love CARA, so of course we saw each other and had to chat. and then the meeting of another virtually famous friend of Cara's was there,Monica, that i hadn't met before. WHOOHOO! and yet the whole time i was slightly horrified, knowing i had no make-up on. kicking myself.

love Cara! so fun to see Mindy again, and meet Monica! i mean these girls are super talented, and oh so glam. and like i said anyone that is friends in real life with Cara has a reputation of being famous to everyone else!

So they are out with their hubby's on a DATE! I even got to meet Cara's hubby Tom!

and then there is me no makeup and Lance in his Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt. CLASSY.

that was tonight's tale.

after it was over, and we'd left and i was slightly horrified, Lance questioned why it even makes a difference to me with make up or without. and i had to point out my flaming zit scabs, and dark circles under my eyes.

my reply, "REALLY? i NEED my makeup even if you don't notice a difference i feel better when i have it on." knowing that sure if i had it on, I'd feel inadequate for another stupid imaginary reason. but still. this is my reason for tonight.

he also questioned why everyone refers to me as Crazymama, not Crazymamaof6 we figure it's because there aren't loads of other crazymamas that i have to be clarified with a #. or maybe everyone knows I'm not set on being crazymama of 6 forever. the number could change eventually.

then i didn't mention this before did i?

Last week. i went out with my fave girls. and as soon as i walked into Cafe Rio i saw other blog friends/old friends i haven't seen in years. fun! and yet a tad embarrassing.

mostly because my friends laugh when i get spotted.

and then while we we sitting chatting another girl came up and said, "are you ___'s sister? aren't you Crazymama, she is always talking about her sister that gets spotted in public,and here i am spotting you?"

yeah that is me. she'd lurked on my blog before. i sensed I'd be spotted again since this girls husband walked by and looked extra hard. like he was trying to figure out if he recognized me.

and then last time at bunko a girl subbed that lived in the same ward with the girl hosting, and She recognized me from my blog. she's friends with another blog/real life friend. another sometime lurker.

it makes me feel almost famous sometimes. I'm flattered

then there are other times that I'm slightly horrified.

it's usually a mix of both. constantly feeling inadequate for whatever. and people spotting me when i least expect it. i should be flattered people even bother to read my blog. i am flattered. truly.

and yet. is it one of those things where they walk away saying to themselves, HOLY CRAP, she looks way better in pictures than she does in real life? or she's way fatter than i thought she was. or her outfit? who does she think she is kidding? OH MY GOSH! or she is NOT that great, why does everyone read her blog? or they meet me and the image that they had of me before is gone and they forever think oh, she's lame in person. SO NOT GREAT!

ya know? yeah.

and i also wonder if maybe i put too much out there on the Internet? could someone track me down? have i given out too much info that maybe it's not safe? people spot me, they can totally spot my kids. is that safe? I've spotted other kids out in real life. I'm not scary but who's to say someone else reading isn't scary?

anyway. random thoughts on that.

and speaking of meeting blog friends , i might meet a blog friend next week. we'll see if it really happens, we've talked about it before, but ya know, who knows if it really will this time. he's in town for the Rock and Roll Marathon. very cool.

maybe.

am i riddled with anxiety over it?

i might be Monday. but not yet.

if i do meet him there will be pictures. not sure I'm brave enough to post them. but maybe.

IF we end up meeting.

so there we go, long post about my insecurities. and low self esteem. aren't you glad you came and read?

have a fabulous Sunday!

otherwise we had a full day of less than all of our kids and a few hours kid free. we hit dinner, then half price books. and Ross. very fun. except they are out of what i wanted. darn it.
isn't that how it always is?

and then tonight the kids came home and decided to start salting our pet slugs that live on our doorstep. (they come out at night)

everyone was gung ho about it except Joy who thought it was horribly mean, and crying over it. you should never be mean to animals even the smallest/biggest nastiest kinds.
BAWLING over salting slugs.