my aversion to the dentist. DREAD! FEAR! PANIC!

Confession! i FEAR the dentist.

going, making appointments, the thought of calling , or going. it's almost enough to cause panic attacks. and reduce me to tears.

i don't like taking my kids either since it brings up my fear of going myself.

that and the horror and shame of what they find when we finally do go.

OH MY GOSH! where is my paper bag? HEEE WHOOO HEEE HEE HEE WHOOHOOHOO.

deep calming breaths.

Peyton had a tooth ache all weekend.

so i called today to take him in.

they got us in bright and shiny early at 9 am. and the verdict?

both of his #1 molars are SHOT! (don't judge me)

and he needs root canals and crowns OR extractions and space maintainers.

i lean towards extractions whether that is the smarter thing or not. because i FEAR root canals.

ever since i had a horrible one when i was in 8th grade. (SCARRED FOR LIFE)

the dentist left it up to me.

Peyton has a small crowded mouth with TONS of teeth that will have to be taken care of before he can get braces. which he NEEDS BADLY. (some extra baby teeth need pulled,think Jaws)

braces i can handle.

extractions i like. (quick easy cheap fix)

anything else. DREAD, PANIC , FEAR!

we are going the root canal route.

he's dreading it. and i'm silently having a panic attack for it.

and it isn't even me.

I have a-loads of work that needs done. A$$ LOADS.

do i want to go? HECK NO!

we have good dental coverage this year, and an awesome flexible spending account that will cover whatever needs done with no out of pocket.

do i call and go in? NOPE .

do i think about the need to call daily YEAH.

panic , dread, fear.

yeah. i need a freaking Valium to make the freaking appointment.

UGH!

plus the shame of having horrible teeth. it's genetic. add that to too much soda, and not enough good brushing, by kids and WE ARE SCREWED.

i brush. often. all the time. floss is my friend. and my teeth still suck.

could it be the chronic vomiting i did while pregnant, all those years in a row?

or what about the lack of prenatals and not enough calcium EVER?

Or Maybe it's the radiation killing off some of my salivary glands leaving me with dry mouth?

i'm a mouth breather too when i sleep?

does that make a difference?

OR perhaps it's my teeth constantly bathed with acids and sugars from SODA?

my guess? it's a combo of all of the above.

PANIC, DREAD, FEAR!

Peyton goes in tomorrow to the Endodontist for his root canal. or whatever they are doing.

and i get to take him. PANIC! DREAD! FEAR!

i've been on the verge of tears over it at least 3 times today already.

maybe Lance can take him.
(i doubt it)

Peyton is being brave. and i'll slip him a valium before he goes so he'll be fine. (they were his from the last time he had to go in for a pulp)

UGH!

so any opinions about this?

what about the treatment plan? he's 10 if that information matters.

does anyone else have irrational fears of the dentist?

DREAD, PANIC , FEAR!

have a rad day! i'm gonna go take a Valium myself and take a nap. (not really but i'd like to)

Oh and what i find ironic, is i had cancer, and that didn't scare me at all. i stressed way less about having major surgery, twice, than i do about going to the stinking dentist? what does that say about me? it's retarded.
sure load me up with a radioactive pill! but don't make me go to the dentist. seriously i considered most of my cancer stuff like a vacation and yet i have panic attacks about going to the dentist?
stick a needle in my neck, draw out cells from some lumps and lymph nodes, remove some please. NO BIG DEAL! and yet this is enough to depress me for 2 days. and constantly haunt me because i avoid taking care of dental stuff.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! (that is a rhetorical question, don't answer that)