Monday, July 20, 2009

Surviving to look back

Sometimes there are things in life that, as you go through them, you struggle and think, "HOLY CRAP THIS IS THE HARDEST THING EVER! HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THIS?"

yet you take it one day at a time, just surviving. Pretty soon you are looking back, thinking Gosh, that wasn't so bad! i totally survived and Kicked life's trash! YAY ME! I ROCK!"

and time goes a little further down the road, and something new and hard comes along. you are immersed in it (or wallowing) and can't see the way out.

"IT'S TOO HARD! WHY ME?"


Somehow you get up every day to do it again, it's hard ,eventually you are past the hard stuff.

then you look back and think, HOLY COW! that seemed like it lasted forever!


One day when you least expect it, something triggers a memory, including the sudden realization that time has flown, it wasn't so bad, there were good times to be had even then.

Time flies. it all blurs together and looking back, it wasn't so bad.

my big stuff?

having 3 babies in 25 months was considered CRAZY but i enjoyed it, and wouldn't have had it any other way.

then having #'s 4, 5,and 6 while my husband was getting a Bachelors degree, could have sucked at the time, but there were good times , i was happy to be expanding our family. he was working hard and doing his best in school.

Others looked at me like we were stupid to have more. but they didn't have do be pregnant, or give birth, or raise these babies.

I admit , it was hard at the time keeping up or affording them, all those sleepless nights and busy days. And yet , those years went by in the blink of an eye. they are all growing up. my babies aren't babies anymore.

Ya know To top it off, in the middle of having a herd of little ones, and my husband in school, i had cancer. Thyroid cancer, but cancer all the same. when it rains it pours right?

To be honest, I can't even recall the exact year i had my first surgery for my Thyroid cancer. at the time it was all consuming stress. and yet it took a back burner to midterms for the hubs and taking care of 4, then 5 babies. i can only figure out the details if i go back and think REALLY HARD about who was born in between surgeries and what year the hubs was in school.

those were some hard years overall. we seemed to pack alot into them. with Hubby in school while i had cancer, surrounded by babies and little kids it was overwhelming, it was stressful, I was Depressed. BUT I SURVIVED! WE SURVIVED! we TRIUMPHED OVER OUR TRIALS!

NOW, schooling the hubs is over (thank goodness), My cancer is gone, and the kids? they still keep me busy and make me crazy, but soon almost all of them will be gone all day to school. (hallelujah! can you hear the choirs of angels singing?)

before i know it, they'll be teenagers.

(right now i miss those hectic days of cruising the mall all day with my herd, and terrorizing the playground. I miss the story times, and kids clubs and Oh how i miss nap time.)


looking back i realize I've grown , my perspectives have changed, of course, I've always got those years to remember and compare to in future times of Strife and i can tell myself ...

"hey this is nothing! I've survived so much worse.but dang those were some good times too."


So, yeah, i did that . i survived some hard stuff, yeah i had my "why me?" moments, but i also sucked it up and survived.

I'm a survivor. (not in the cancer sense and while yes I've survived that too, I've survived so much more than a diagnosis.) some days i just wanna announce to the world that,

I survived my life and kicked it's Trash!

and it may not seem like much to someone else but GEEZE it was hard at the time-for me. it was all consuming and seemed at the time to be such a ginormously-craptastic thing to have to go through.


so this is me telling my little part of the world (wide web),


I survived my life and kicked it's Trash!

I'm tell you because....

hey, if i can survive, you can too! whatever you are struggling with, however hard it seems right now, someday YOU WILL look back and think, hey i survived! it wasn't so bad, or yeah that totally sucked but, i made it! I ROCK!


if you are struggling? or wanna share how you've survived.feel free!

I'd love to hear it (in the comments) and hey it feels great to brag a little!


here are some {{Hugs}} for you!

I just want you to know someone (meaning Me) in the world(wide web) Cares how you are doing!

I'm cheering for you! and YOU ROCK!

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© 2009 crazymamaof6

10 comments:

Becky said...

You do rock--I don't know if I could have survived all that you have been through. We each have our own unique set of trials. Thanks for the hugs and support.

tammy said...

You did kick it's trash. I didn't know you while you were going through it all, but am still super impressed that you were able to do what you did.

Carie said...

There are just some things that you know aren't going to get better they are only going to get worse, and you can sit in denial over it, or you can go eat your self to death ( my personal choice) or you can realize that it is what it is, and be mad as hell about it and know you were given this in your life for some reason, but really it feels like one big fat cruel joke! Ok maybe I shouldn't have commented!

Piper said...

You DO rock! Way to go!

Janna said...

I wish I could kick my "depression" trash and my dh not finding a job....

knock on wood he had an awesome job interview yesterday. but today all I can do is nothing... I am worried sick it will not come through.

You are awesome and I am sorry I do not post much lately.

Your twin from another mother

Melissa said...

Message received...thank you. And yes, you are AWESOME!!

mom2three said...

Very encouraging post...makes me want to smack myself in the face though for thinking my day was hard today...just a crappy day, but yep Ill look back and think what the crap!
It is so true though when it rains it pours!
Thanks for the great post it enlightened my evening!

Laura said...

This post meant a lot to me today. It made me cry. I am really struggling and I needed to know I can survive. The hard times don't last forever and I have absolutely survived worse. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Another post that totally made my day Jewells! Thanks for the reminder! You did kick the trash! I need more of this in my life. I plan to try harder! Lots of love!
Steph

CassiB said...

Thanks crazymama, i so needed to read that. even had to finish it when tempted with a hot soaky shower ;). this is the end of a long day that has followed a big stretch of long days. have had lots going on in the fam, craptastic stuff but i'm sure i will look back and say that i kicked it's trash.

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