Monday, August 3, 2009

why i don't go grocery shopping

i don't love going grocery shopping and haven't been keeping up with the needs of the family shopping.

lately i've been leaving it to our date night on Saturday nights shopping with the hubs. in case it has never occurred to you, grocery shopping for this size family isn't a small endeavor. sometimes , i really don't enjoy it and often avoid doing it.

i analyzed why that is today.

  • 1. if the hubs is with me he does all the heavy lifting into and out of the cart. he also hauls the heavy stuff into the house while i put the rest of the stuff away.

  • 2. if i go it's usually in the middle of hottest part of the day, it's hot driving there, and hot loading the crap into the car, and hot hauling that crap into the house. and even though there are 7 other members of the family home at that time of day. i get to haul the majority of the groceries into the house by myself. leaving me damp , cranky and tired.

  • 3.if i go late at night, the same thing happens because the hubs is never dressed when i get home in the middle of the night (if he's even awake) leaving me to haul all of it myself. and me putting 20 bags of groceries away all by myself.

speaking of going shopping, today i left midday to procure groceries, alone to the store up the street.....

the hubs was working in the office, the big kids were supposed to supervise the little ones. it was just a trip to score a few basics.

i was gone less than 15 minutes and came home with a cartload of stuff. (and yet this was a small quick trip)

i also got beverages and Ice at Happy hour.

i came home. announced the need for help and only 1 useful kid (and Pierce) came and carried 2 bags in. the rest of the kids were nowhere to be found. the hubs was on yet another call. (he's always on the phone)

i went back and forth from the car to the house hauling multiple bags no less than 5 times.

dripping with sweat i discovered what Joy was talking about when she called frantically telling me about little kids dumping stuff out in the family closet/dressing room.

they dumped 15 bins of clean-sorted-organized-folded-kids-clothes on the FREAKING floor, and then they mixed it up .

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i was hot. i was dripping from the AZ heat, frustrated with my family for leaving me to be the packhorse.

adding the disaster on top of it. i lost it.

there was sobbing coming from somewhere, oh wait that was me.

the kids had to come see what was amiss. they gawked and looked concerned.

there were whispers that mom lost it.

yelling wouldn't do any good. they already got lectured by dad. but i yelled anyway. and may have screamed a little.

i had a breakdown.

i cried the ugly cry while i attempted to get a grip on the issue.

harsh words were exchanged between adults.

it killed me that 10 minutes of grocery shopping

lead to 3 hours of work putting it all away again.

it was a very therapeutic cry-fest. (apparently i didn't get my fill when aunt flo visited last)

i did make the best of it, I made Liberty try on all of her jeans, shorts, skirts etc. and we purged 16 items from her bins . leaving roughly 36 assorted bottoms to pick from.(and that was just the clean clothes who knows what lurks in the dirty pile)

I re-sorted kids underwear, socks, jeans, Pj's etc.

this little experience has me living in fear of going BACK to SCHOOL and leaving the little hellion to be "supervised" by dad with no one here to keep him from destroying stuff and making more work for me.

it left me feeling like sometimes my life super sucks.

side note- while i was sorting, and putting away all the socks

i decided socks are disposable.

i made the mistake of voicing that within earshot of the hubs in the office.the hubs didn't think that was such a great idea, but said he could definitely see why i would think that.

i deserve a prize for doing my job sometimes.especially today as the mom.


and that my friends is why i don't go grocery shopping.

what do you think?
I've got questions, you've got answers....

how do you feel about grocery shopping?

what do you think about socks?

what would you have done in this situation?
cry? cuss? beat people? leave and never come back?

have a delightful day. i hope your day went better than mine did.

and i did recover and end up with a decent day. i probably yelled some more. and i may have refused to cook dinner or change diapers. but seriously, why is it that it's still my chore to clean up when i didn't make the mess, and i wasn't here to prevent it. COME ON!

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© 2009 crazymamaof6


andrea said...

Wow. I would have lost it, cried, screamed, and possible thrown something. Oh my. Wait.....I did lose it today, and did the above, minus the crying. I was too mad to cry. Although I felt like crying after the fact. You are not alone. Sometimes being the mom bites the big one in terms of cleaning up messes (constantly) that we did not make. I am so glad I get to try again tomorrow to be a non-yelling and patient person.

Oh, and how nice of them to stack the bins for you....

Carie said...

well just be super duper happy that you don't own my sweet faced devil of a child! Autism brings out the devil in him, and he does daily, sometimes hourly things like this until I think I may tear my hair out or better, run away from home for good! I have a husband and two older boys who just can't seem to help me out with him either, it is super not fun to say the least! I feel for you because messes are not fun, I have also been known to cry my eyes out while feeling extra sorry for myself! By the way, I get sick to death of grocery shopping in this heat, and thinking of dinners to make, if had someone who would do this for me I would be in heaven, I need a wife!

CassiB said...

i hate grocery shopping too. i used to kinda like it but since i started doing the ad/coupon job, i hate it. i'm in the stores 2x a week or so, so why can't i just pick up a few things while i'm there. because i've walked the whole store and what to get the hell out of there!! and i can't pick up things as i go cuz that just grosses me out to have cold things get so warm.
i pick all of the above, although i would come back =) my mom used to have a saying when she couldn't take it and had to leave the house "where are you going?" mom "crazy if i don't change my ways" i have caught myself saying it quite a few times!

Becky said...

I like grocery shopping, but if that had happened while I was gone I would have lost it as well. And then I would have sent DH to home depot to buy a lock for the family closet dressing room--and that room would remain LOCKED whenever I left the house and for most of the day. I already have a lock on my pantry for such purposes.

Sorry you had such a hard day--can't wait for school to start!

Jenn said...

First of all--- DON'T give up on going back to school. This was one event. Hopefully a one time thing. I am sure if you yelled your hubs will be better watching the kids next time.

I went to work on Saturday night and got so sick after only being there for an hour. I had slept before I went in, which was odd, so anyways. Throwing up and the whole bit! I decided to go home. I go in late like 8 so I left for home at 9:30 walked in the door. Husband crashed on the couch and the kids still awake and watching a movie. Baby running all over the house. And I lost it too. Not really lost it but questioned if my continuation was worth it to him to slack and NOT take care of his responsibilities. Totally drove me nuts. But I totally understand where you are coming from.

I am so sorry you had a bad day. I hope today is much better for you and that you get your bins all cleared out and put back together and in the end find the positive in having to sort through them. A little mid summer spring cleaning.

Have a great day!!!

Vidal's Nest said...

Wow! After all that work you put into getting a grip on the laundry. I think it would have put me under to find that too. I actually hired someone to come in today, tomorrow and thursday to clean and told my husband I don't give a crap if the family eats pb&j for the next week so I can afford it. I HAVE TO get a grip before this one comes!
Hate grocery shopping. I do all the lifting then have to help bring it in unload and put away. Sucks and like you often come home to the home front trashed!
Socks piss me off. Like is there a secret hole in my dryer I don't know about? I am always losing just one. I often just throw them away rather than spend hours looking for the pair. Or I make the kids wear flip flops! yeah I rock like that.
As to what I would have done? Cried, cried some more, swore, then probably left for awhile. I think I would have been too devastated to beat them even though I wanted too. Sometimes me having a meltdown is actually more effective on them anyhow. They know they've REALLY stepped in it when I cry.
Hang in there! Totally sucky day! Hope today is better. How many days till kids in school?

Laurie M. said...

It's amazing how fast your hard work can be undone. I think I would have been crying along with you. I also hate grocery shopping- I avoid it as long as possible.

Tracy said...

I hate to shop for grocerys. Rules at my house, if you eat here , you help carry in and help put stuff away. If you make a mess, you clean it up. They don't like it, but they think twice before they do it. I have stuck by this rule and a chore chart(daily) and teaches responsability. Teach them to clean and organize and they will be good help when you go back to school. Good Luck. Hang in there.

My Family said...

I don't mind grocery shopping, I don't like taking my kids though so when schools out it gets hard, I have to wait for Cody to get home. My kids have done that before (trashing the place) with their toys, that's why I got rid of 90% of them last week. I would have screamed, cried, screamed some more and then I would have put myself in time out in my bedroom for a few hours :)

elle said...

there would have been some serious yelling, crying, pleeding, and some more screaming. Then i would have killed my husband. Then made him clean it. Then clean it all when he doesn't. And more crying...
And i'm liking the dugger method to socks. White for girls, blue for boys. For us, since we just have boys, it's plain white for all...

Lamps Family said...

I really dislike grocery shopping, I usually let my hubby do it on his way home from work.I can't stand the Arizona heat either and the airconditioner in the car decided to die on us so right now, I hardly ever go anywhere it's just too darn hot!
As for the socks, I think there comes a time when they do become disposable! If I can't find the match in a month then I either throw them away, make them into hand puppets or hair accessories (yes hair accessories!).

I would have definitely lost it if I came home to a mess like that...oh wait I have come home to messes like that and completely lost it!! I scream, yell, cry and lock my self in the bathroom!! And I usually clean something, other than the mess that needs to be cleaned. I usually make my kids clean up the mess and if they don't want to and I do it then they get no T.V. or toys and I usually threaten to throw away their toys if they really start whining and crying.

After I deal with stuff like that I usually feel like I need some me time but am afraid to leave the house, because I know I will come home to a huge mess it never fails. I know your hubby was working and all, my hubby has no excuse his idea of the watching the kids is keeping them alive until I get home, everything else gets neglected, then he wonders why when I spent 2 hrs by myself why I am still cranky and pissed off when I get home!

I really hope you have a better day today. It's nice to know that we aren't alone in our mothering adventures isn't it!?

Janelle said...

oh boy!! I would've have lost it and started yelling, and probably a few cuss words may have slipped out!!whoops!
Then I woulda' made them clean it up!
I do enjoy grocery shopping, but I like to leave everyone at home...but they better come out to unload when I get there!
I H A T E socks!!!! I've learned to buy more when i can't find them...

Holly said...

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry about the clothes bins!!!!!! You need a hug!

I hate the shopping at night and in the heat so I feel for you - but in the UK it is no piece of cake either. First, you have to bring your own bags for everything, the carts - all 4 wheels move at the same time so the carts are super hard to push, you load everything on the conveyer belt, they don't start ringing until you get everything on, they don't pack for you, and if you don't keep up with the checker (who sits on a stool and doesn't help you pack) they stop ringing until you catch up. Then you haul everything back home in your tiny car, and them you have to remember - the refrigerators are super small!!!! :)

jayna said...

um, i so don't blame ya. i would have cried too. as for grocery shopping, i still come home with at least 20 bags every 2 weeks and it's just me! (what am i eating???) i don't mind it, though. (of course i don't, i don't have kids). hugs for you. good luck with everything and just think... in a couple of weeks (or sooner) school starts again.

Scrappy Girl said...

I probably would have had a breakdown too. The other day I left the 2 little ones with Dr. Hubby at his office for one hour. I went to TOPS. He called and said to pick the kids up in the back alley. When I pulled up my jaw dropped. There had been a cloud burst/down pour and my 2 sweet children in their Gymboree outfits and good shoes were laying and splashing in filthy mudholes. I was speechless....I wanted to just keep driving. He actually put them in my car soaking wet! Argh! I came home and did CPR on the outfits, but they were already gone...MEN!

I hate grocery shopping!
I hate socks!

Scrappy Girl said...

btw...I am having a surprise package giveaway today to celebrate 500 posts!

Leslie said...

I know this won't help you now, it doesnt help me either but I had a friend that if her mom had to pick up the kids stuff, she would take it to her room and the kids had to pay her to get it back. It's sweet revenge. When they are old enough to have jobs, take advantage of this concept!! I plan too!! You would have been rich with all those clothes!!

I don't mind Grocery shopping except when I don't feel very good. But I also hate not having food in the house. My kids have no problem helping me bring stuff in but then they want to eat everything right then and there.

I HATE socks, my kids take them off outside in the dry grass and then they are ruined. If I could, I would buy new socks each week, unfortunetly they are freaking expensive now days!!

Sarah said...

everyone would have gotten a beating. little kids for making the mess, big kids for not stopping the littles from doing it. setting an example as a big includes not allowing littles to misbehave.

can you tell i don't have kids?

i like idea about locks. you could install locks up high so no one could mess with them. then you could run around with big ol key ring and a bunch of keys, like the school janitor. loves it!

look at me. i'm like Miss Hannigan in training...

Sarah said...

everyone would have gotten a beating. little kids for making the mess, big kids for not stopping the littles from doing it. setting an example as a big includes not allowing littles to misbehave.

can you tell i don't have kids?

i like idea about locks. you could install locks up high so no one could mess with them. then you could run around with big ol key ring and a bunch of keys, like the school janitor. loves it!

look at me. i'm like Miss Hannigan in training...

Devri said...

Sorry you had such a bad day! I know the feeling, hopping around on crutches trying to clean this house, and I turn around and the room I had just cleaned, was dirty! I hate grocery shopping too, but cuz I have to ride that stupid old ladies go cart.. I come home smelling like a old fart!

hope your day is better

Melody said...

I know I hate cleaning up after everyone too. My new saying is "M is for mother NOT maid" Hope you have a better week!

blah, blah by lindsey said...

i would cry if that happened to me.

Kathy B! said...

I feel exactly the same way about going to Costco... it can kill the better part of an afternoon without even trying. Add clothing dumped on the floor?! I think you handled it well...

Janell said...

Socks are totally disposable. Underwear too.

It's so frustrating when kids make a mess that really only YOU can clean up. Grrrrrr! I'm SURE I would have yelled/cried too. I'm glad your day got better.

Kayci said...

I feel your pain! I'm loving the idea of having all the clothes in one place though!
I like to go grocery shopping~ but not in the summer, not with the boys, and not unless I have help unloading the car. However, my four year old is awesome at putting things away once it's in the house.
Sorting and putting away clothes is something I HATE doing. And socks are completely disposable~ but that may just be because I have boys and their socks get SO dirty SO fast! I think I buy new socks every six months- all white and all ankle length because they're easier to pair up that way!
I could totally see myself throwing a fit over that kind of mess~ I've done it over much smaller things! ;)
FYI: While I've been stranded in N. Cali, I found a TJMaxx with a whole 10 ft rack stuffed full of those dang tutus and I found myself debating over which to buy! Who for? I have NO IDEA!

sherry said...

My husband is grocery shopping with two of the kids at this very moment. This happens often. Because I hate it. And he doesn't. When I DO have to do the grocery shopping, I call from the car and make sure he and any kids that are around are ready by the door waiting to carry in the groceries. I refuse to make more than one trip into the house from the car. It is unnecesarry. This works when the husband is gone also. I call and warn the kids. They sometimes have to make multiple trips. I probably would have made my older children do the sorting. They are old enough to do it. You don't have to do it all by yourself, Superwoman! Why is your job 24/7 and your husband's job is only 40 hours a week? That is not going to fly when you are in school. Delegation is key. Learn it. Live it;)

sherry said...

What? You think I am bossy and obnoxious? True....I am in one of those moods. Sorry!

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