Thursday, March 11, 2010

field trip mom rocks , pine wood derby mom sucks. -yet another reason the title of mother of the year eludes me.

I went on Joy's Field trip

(this is what me riding the bus looks like)

to The Halle Heart Children's museum.

it was was not what I was expecting.

mostly because she kept telling me it was the Holly Heart hospital,

and then I heard Valley heart hospital.

so when we pulled up to an industrial park in Tempe and not at a hospital at all,

I was surprised. but pleasantly.

It's a Childrens museum Sponsored by the America Heart Association

it had

lots of hands on stuff, puzzles, models, games.

it was pretty cool they talked all about never smoking

and what happens to your arteries if you do.

they had to try to throw a green tennis ball through the constricting artery.

and making healthy food choices. and staying active.

The Food Pyramid and the activity Pyramid.

I hafta admit I felt better after she said the perfect portion size was a kids happy meal and what do ya know, that's what i get.

yay I'm not totally crazy off on the food smarts.

They talked about heart attacks, calling 911 and CPR, and they got to try the defibrillator.

1.2.3. CLEAR!

After we got back to the school,

I stayed and sat with Joy and her friends while they ate lunch in the cafeteria.

(kinda grody, I'm not gonna lie)
but she was stoked i stayed.

as soon as i bailed I called my friend and we went to lunch,

we were on the same bus but she didn't stay for the cafeteria delight.

(sorry Andrea it fit in the post, never trust a fat lady that has taken your picture)


THEN tonight Paxton had Pinewood Derby.

(i passed up subbing at bunko to go.)

Paxton had a skateboard.

(we recycled Peyton's first car, because we didn't get a car kit until Sunday night late and dad couldn't find his tools yesterday when he started working on it. )

it was borrow or not participate at that point.

here it is on the track. the 2nd blue lane.

I was the meanest mom ever by the time we got to the Pine Wood Derby,

because just as we were getting ready to leave out the door, i was downloading field trip pictures and dad was in the office and suddenly i discovered...

one kid (the eldest) threw a can of paint (read quart of latex), at the others when it broke on the ground and my pack of idiots little darlings started smearing it by the handful on the wheel of death.

imagine the mess 5 kids could make with paint covered hands,

when they got caught Pierce started wiping his hands on his clothes,

others had it on their clothes and that added up to 10 filthy hands and 4 sets of clothes with paint including but not limited to the kids because, somehow I ended up with paint on my new black jeans!


this happened at 6:20 and we were supposed to be there at 6:30 you can imagine my delight.

(at this point i was mentally SCREAMING I HATE MY LIFE)

and outwardly screaming

at everyone else.

we still went.

sans scout shirt.

on the way i threatened major grounding next week if anyone acted up or talked back.

It was then that I transformed into the nazi mom.

nobody got to sit with friends. no one got to wander around or play at all.

they sat, me alone with my 6 kids armed with nothing but the contents of my magic bag (purse),

i gave them pen and paper, i bribed people with candy to sit still and shut up.

because dad was helping at the bottom of the track.

Joy made a sign that read "GO PAX!"

he won 10 out of 16 races. and came in 4th.
(we only know this because dad helped with the finish line)
oh and most creative car design for like the 3rd year in a row.

here are the refreshments.

twinkie race cars.

it was over in an hour and 15.

thank goodness.

fastest pinewood derby we've ever had.


since I'd been beyond my limit for the last 2 hours,

we got hot and ready pizzas on the way home

finally these people are off to bed.


what started out as a strong day towards mother of the year status,

ended with me solidifying my reputation as crazymama .

maybe the paint is what i get for bragging on facebook, to the tune of

"crazymama of 6( read- stupid braggy mama) - was a field trip chaperon AND chose pine wood derby instead of bunko, HOW COULD I NOT GET MOTHER OF THE YEAR?!"

fate had to step in and teach me a freaking lesson.
never brag. EVER or your day will turn into hell on earth.

the paint better effing come out of my black jeans.

I don't give a rats about the kids clothes, it's all about mine.

this was only the 2nd time I'd worn them damn it!

So, care to share any thoughts/feelings?

feel free to admit your laughter at my expense, i share because i care enough to make your life look a million times better than mine.

pinewood derby? rad ? not rad?

once again the title of mother of the year eludes me.


Note: Wheel of death= playground sized vintage merry go round.

because we are cool like that.

the end.

good night and good riddance!

post signature

© 2010 crazymamaof6


Jen said...

HOLY.CRAP!!! I loudly gasped at the paint! I am sorry to break it to you, it most likely will not come out. UGH!! I would have probably beat someone over that. So you are restrained ;) And at least you got to pinewood derby, I would have canned it and put them all to bed. Yay on the field trip! I get to go to the farm with Gavin tomorrow for his!

Taralyn said...

There is this orange oil stuff that the name escapes me because I am out and I use it ALL the effin time - It gets gum out of hair the sticky sticker stuff off glass/plastic - oil/gum/paint/and just about any other stain/gunk out of fabric... dang dang dang Got it Di-Solv-It.... It's AWESOME - automobile section/home improvement - it changes sections all the time - I get it at Albertson have never found it at Wal-Mart.. Good Luck and I think you are the #1 Crazy Mama of 6!!

blah, blah by lindsey said...

i did laugh at your expense! thank you

Jodi H said...

Oh know how clean freak I am!!! I would totally freak out! I've been really stressed out and just yelling about nothing lately, eventhough I know I have pretty awesome kids! So I got scolded by my "hubs"--and I am doing my BEST to try and keep my attitude positive! I also had literally less than 30 minutes last night to do full facepaint on somewhere around 15 kids--most of whom didn't show up as early as they should have because my kid's school is completely disorganized about musicals. I was literally painting as we ran down the hall to the stage! Needless to say I sat there and watched my daughter with disgusting 50 colored hands and nails, with a dirty apron was awesome. I'm sure people were like.."Who let in the homeless lady!??"

Jodi H said...

Something called "Goof-off" will remove paint--as well as sometimes straight rubbing alcohol. Use an old tooth brush and run water through the BACK of the stain to rinse so it rinses it away from the fibers instead of into them. You are actually lucky it's latex!

Gina once stuck her fingers into the paint when we were painting her room, and without telling me..wiped it on her bedding and decorative pillows..and why yes! They ARE pottery barn kids! And I almost squeezed the life out of her :)

andrea said...

I admit it, I laughed. And I would've been screaming until hoarse had it been my kids....and you are nice. There is no way in hell I would've taken them to the pinewood derby after that. So, you get points for going.

Love the advice about not bragging about your kids unless you want your day to, so, so true.

gray-gang said...

WOW!!! What a day! I will still give you "Mother of the Year"...because you still have 6 kids after that paint issue!!! AND you still went to pinewood derby, I would have just said FORGET IT, I AM GOING SHOPPING!! So yeah, in my book just because you have survived this long with all your kids in one piece, YOU win that award!! Aren't these those days when people say, "one day you'll look back and laugh?"
Hey I love your pictures from the field trip, that was really fun! But wait a minute...isnt that me in the background of one of your pictures?? I think I have that same picture just at a different angle with you in the background....I thought we were gonna crop those pictures ;) j/k
That was fun, glad we were both able to go!

Webb Family said...

I went on a field trip there too. I thought it was a fun one & the same as you had no idea what we were going to.
You are nice because I would have skipped the pinewood derby or at least just sent the ones who needed to be there.
You still should get the award for sure!

Janeen said...

We both jumped for joy when we realized we had no cub scouters for this year's pinewood derby! What a relief it was. :)

Tammy said...

The joys of motherhood! Dont worry Julie, I too, will not be mother of hte year anytime soon!

Andrea said...

ok I admit I giggled. but only because I was happy it wasn't my kids causing the chaos. My kids have been known to cause quite a bit of trouble too. so i give u permission to laugh when it's me and not you next time :)

That field trip was fun and interesting. Definitely not what I was expecting either. Lunch was fun that day!

YAY for Paxton winning 4th place! Those twinkie car treats look yummy! well, I'm not a huge twinkie fan, but I love those chocolate covered donuts!

You get MOM OF THE YEAR just for surviving that day (and your kids survived too)! :)

Cara said...

I have never seen a skateboard car! Brilliant!!!! My husband would be jealous!!!!

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