field trip mom rocks , pine wood derby mom sucks. -yet another reason the title of mother of the year eludes me.

I went on Joy's Field trip

(this is what me riding the bus looks like)

to The Halle Heart Children's museum.

it was was not what I was expecting.

mostly because she kept telling me it was the Holly Heart hospital,

and then I heard Valley heart hospital.

so when we pulled up to an industrial park in Tempe and not at a hospital at all,

I was surprised. but pleasantly.

It's a Childrens museum Sponsored by the America Heart Association

it had

lots of hands on stuff, puzzles, models, games.

it was pretty cool they talked all about never smoking

and what happens to your arteries if you do.

they had to try to throw a green tennis ball through the constricting artery.

and making healthy food choices. and staying active.

The Food Pyramid and the activity Pyramid.

I hafta admit I felt better after she said the perfect portion size was a kids happy meal and what do ya know, that's what i get.

yay I'm not totally crazy off on the food smarts.

They talked about heart attacks, calling 911 and CPR, and they got to try the defibrillator.

1.2.3. CLEAR!

After we got back to the school,

I stayed and sat with Joy and her friends while they ate lunch in the cafeteria.

(kinda grody, I'm not gonna lie)
but she was stoked i stayed.

as soon as i bailed I called my friend and we went to lunch,

we were on the same bus but she didn't stay for the cafeteria delight.

(sorry Andrea it fit in the post, never trust a fat lady that has taken your picture)

~~~

THEN tonight Paxton had Pinewood Derby.

(i passed up subbing at bunko to go.)

Paxton had a skateboard.

(we recycled Peyton's first car, because we didn't get a car kit until Sunday night late and dad couldn't find his tools yesterday when he started working on it. )

it was borrow or not participate at that point.

here it is on the track. the 2nd blue lane.

I was the meanest mom ever by the time we got to the Pine Wood Derby,

because just as we were getting ready to leave out the door, i was downloading field trip pictures and dad was in the office and suddenly i discovered...

one kid (the eldest) threw a can of paint (read quart of latex), at the others when it broke on the ground and my pack of idiots little darlings started smearing it by the handful on the wheel of death.

imagine the mess 5 kids could make with paint covered hands,

when they got caught Pierce started wiping his hands on his clothes,

others had it on their clothes and that added up to 10 filthy hands and 4 sets of clothes with paint including but not limited to the kids because, somehow I ended up with paint on my new black jeans!

are you EFFING KIDDING ME?

this happened at 6:20 and we were supposed to be there at 6:30 you can imagine my delight.

(at this point i was mentally SCREAMING I HATE MY LIFE)

and outwardly screaming

at everyone else.

we still went.

sans scout shirt.

on the way i threatened major grounding next week if anyone acted up or talked back.

It was then that I transformed into the nazi mom.

nobody got to sit with friends. no one got to wander around or play at all.

they sat, me alone with my 6 kids armed with nothing but the contents of my magic bag (purse),

i gave them pen and paper, i bribed people with candy to sit still and shut up.

because dad was helping at the bottom of the track.

Joy made a sign that read "GO PAX!"

he won 10 out of 16 races. and came in 4th.
(we only know this because dad helped with the finish line)
oh and most creative car design for like the 3rd year in a row.

here are the refreshments.

twinkie race cars.

it was over in an hour and 15.

thank goodness.

fastest pinewood derby we've ever had.

AWESOME!

since I'd been beyond my limit for the last 2 hours,

we got hot and ready pizzas on the way home

finally these people are off to bed.

HALLELUJAH!

what started out as a strong day towards mother of the year status,

ended with me solidifying my reputation as crazymama .

maybe the paint is what i get for bragging on facebook, to the tune of

"crazymama of 6( read- stupid braggy mama) - was a field trip chaperon AND chose pine wood derby instead of bunko, HOW COULD I NOT GET MOTHER OF THE YEAR?!"

fate had to step in and teach me a freaking lesson.
never brag. EVER or your day will turn into hell on earth.


PS.
the paint better effing come out of my black jeans.

I don't give a rats about the kids clothes, it's all about mine.

this was only the 2nd time I'd worn them damn it!


So, care to share any thoughts/feelings?

feel free to admit your laughter at my expense, i share because i care enough to make your life look a million times better than mine.

pinewood derby? rad ? not rad?



once again the title of mother of the year eludes me.

CURSES! I've been THWARTED AGAIN!



Note: Wheel of death= playground sized vintage merry go round.

because we are cool like that.

the end.

good night and good riddance!

© 2010 crazymamaof6