Feast or Famine?

Hi, my name is Crazymama and I am a hoarder.

(hi Crazymama)

not to the extent that you'd see my smiling face on TV on the ever popular show, Hoarders.

I really am. it's kept well hidden from all, but my closest family members and friends.

I say it and they think I'm joking. if only they knew.

So today, while sorting through one of the MANY baskets of clothes in our house, getting the kids clothes ready for the week, and supposedly sorting and purging the outgrown, the ratty and the unworn items.

I had the thought.

If the hubs had a job I wouldn't have any problem purging everything I didn't like. all of the long sleeved items we may or may not need next season, the baby items taking up a whole closet.

So I had to analyze, why does that make a difference?

because the thought process of a hoarder goes like this.... if I hoard all these items, it wouldn't matter if we were in the middle of a feast or famine stage. (my theory only here)

It's safe to assume that at some point in a hoarders life they didn't have ENOUGH of something they felt was vital to their happiness or survival.

People that went hungry hoard food and overeat so they feel like they have enough.

I am a clothing hoarder, at some point in my life I didn't feel like I had enough. I really only felt like i got by because I had friends willing to share their bounty. For a few years there , when clothes really really matter to a girl, money was tight, I had to be creative.

I got by. I had style. I had great friends that shared. I never went without. I survived.

I credit that clothing famine with my tendency to hoard clothes.

when I got my first jobs, I only bought clothes. and shoes. and more clothes.

Life moves on and I confess I had a shopping addiction for quite some time.

Once we got married I started stockpiling baby clothes. if we were in a feast cycle, or even just gainfully employed I would shop and shop and shop.

Our kids wore the best, cutest, matchy clothes I could find. I bought ahead for the next season or two. I never paid full price, but we had mountains of clothes for the littlest of children that only puked and pooped on them. I'd spend hours spray and washing them, and hanging them out to dry, preserving the outfits.

When it was a famine cycle, we survived off of what I'd purchased ahead. we got by only needing to buy the basics like diapers and wipes. We had clothes for the kids we had. brand new with tags, hanging in the closet.

When we were feasting, since storage was always short I would pass clothes along to the closest nieces and nephews. and when we were tight, the clothes would cycle back. and since I'd bought quality clothes to begin with, they lasted, and everyone knew which items were mine since they were the best brands.

so how did i get to this point where i have 30 baskets FULL to the brim of clothes that i have to sort? and purge and put away?

well sure I have a large family. 6 kids have loads of clothes. i have multiple sizes , some outgrown, some ready to grow into. some just needed to be given a new home.

the reason i'm a hoarder is it's hard for me to let go. Thinking, WHAT IF....we don't have a new job and i'll need these for...? my sisters have closets full they don't want anymore fabulous hand-me-downs.

there are no new babies coming. this little cupcake is the last one. everyone elses baby bakery is closed.

Of course if we had a job i'd just ditch the boxes and boxes of overused baby clothes cluttering that closet. but since we don't, i feel compelled to sort and purge hunting for the few items i either love or might need. Moving them, because what if....

it's a sickness.

but if you think of it this way, does it make sense? i think it does. there is definitely logic there right?

I was gonna say I don't really have an attachment to other things. and realized I'd be lying. they are just less obvious things.

by definition.

Noun

1.

hoarder - a person who accumulates things and hides them away for future use

I am a hoarder.

I guess I better get back to it.

the sorting.

sigh.

It's a bad sign when the biggest issue with moving is how to deal with the transport of ALL of the clothes. There isn't enough space to have it all clean at the same time.

one last reason I know I'm a hoarder?

I have this compulsion to hit savers 50% off day to buy Peyton shorts. KNOWING this is it, the only day to get half price shorts and Jeans for $3 or $4bucks a pair.

Logically I know we have boatloads of clothes they have taken over my life. my house. my everything.

BUT, but, but... he will be needing some shorts, I know I'll need them in this size and I'd rather buy them for $4 bucks than $15 later. because what if...we don't get this job?

sigh.

maybe I'll purge another basket, and then take a break and go see if I can find anything for Peyton at Savers?

© 2010 crazymamaof6