beware blitching ahead (blog bitching)
Sometimes I think I could either justify my position or eternally suffer from Mom Guilt.
We all have it.
Dad's have it too but on a different level. it's not as ingrained in them like it is in mom's. Dad's would never feel guilty if a kid didn't get their hair combed or have a clean face out in public. Neither do they care if their outfit didn't match, or they didn't have proper Sunday shoes, most Dad's just don't notice those things.
I honestly have no room in my life FOR mom guilt.
today I have conferences. for all 5 school aged kids. back to back, in a row.
the hubs is coming along this time, he's probably afraid I'd go postal on the school teachers and spin wildly off my rocker into a manic episode and accost these people, causing bodily harm and irreparable damage to my reputation.
I'm pretty sure he's coming mostly to prep the teachers that HE won't be here to help with homework anymore starting next week.
since he has helped in that department alot this year. that and he drives them to school and picks up most days.
while i have been doing nothing but baking the cupcake all school year thus far.
this will be a HUGE CHANGE and DISRUPTION in our household. (the traveling, not to mention the new baby)
sure i did fine when he was traveling for interviews. I think we'll get a routine down eventually, but some things JUST CAN'T CONTINUE AS THEY ARE.
hours and hours of it. lots of it I would call just
crap busy work.
I'm sorry but my previously Straight A student who has always loved school, doesn't need to waste his time on writing his spelling words 3 times in repetition just for freaking practice. he gets 100% on most of his spelling tests and has his whole life whether he does that ritual or not.
to me that is a HUGE WASTE OF TIME. unless you need that kind of practice. he doesn't.
PLUS he's been so stressed about getting all of this crapwork/worthless assignments done, he now hates school and would rather have moved out of state rather than finish the school year at this school. that's sad and WRONG.
we told his teacher , until he starts failing his spelling test on a regular basis, we will from now on, forgo that ridiculous assignment. it's busy work. he will also forgo doing multiple practice problems of things he already knows how to do. (a couple are OK, a whole page isn't)
meanwhile, since we've been coddling the 6th grader, and coaxing the 3rd grader (who needed to master her penmanship to please her teacher and make up 15 math problems or create sentences for practice or do spelling workbook pages that won't ever be collected.) my 4th grader has gotten lost in the shuffle and doesn't freaking know all the basic geometric shapes and has an F in math timed tests.
I have mom guilt because HE got lost in the shuffle.
WHY YOU SAY??
because the squeaky wheels were getting the grease while the bolts on that other particular tire were totally falling out and getting lost on the ride we call life.
WHAT THE HECK!?!
He slips through the cracks, because if a kid tells me he doesn't have homework I believe him. glad that is one less to work with for hours in the evening while unmedicated.
if he doesn't empty out his bag and show me his progress report from NOVEMBER, i don't go searching.
and if I don't know he has IEP meeting requests or papers being sent home and to look for them in the mess of a backpack, I don't go hunting.
because by then I'm just glad that one person, one student, one teacher isn't SQUEAKING AT ME for some FREAKING GREASE!
meanwhile this kid really is behind. he's also content with C grades when other siblings are driven to get straight A's.
we also told the 3rd graders teacher that we don't want her missing recess as punishment for not returning papers that were supposed to be signed by me, just for the sake of a signature.
or because she didn't complete her busywork/spelling workbook assignment.
I mean seriously it's 3rd grade, NOT HIGH SCHOOL, not college for hell's sake. it's 3rd FREAKING grade.
the most important thing THAT CHILD IN PARTICULAR NEEDS TO LEARN at that age is SOCIAL SKILLS! that plus run off some of her excess energy.
she's bright. one of the brightest in our home. she is intelligent, well beyond normal skills. sure she rushes, sure her penmanship is less than stellar but SERIOUSLY? in 3rd grade she is there for the social. and she shouldn't be punished because i didn't sign a freaking paper or we missed it on the counter in an effort to be on time.
I have mom guilt from the tardiness.
they are tardy because I insist they have matching clothes on, a clean face, and their hair combed by ME.
ideally they would eat breakfast and brush their teeth everyday too, sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't.
i could, in theory let that go, but in reality I can't let it go.
so i tend to yell every morning. which gives me guilt.
we are late even though I try, which gives me guilt.
because of this mom guilt I've actually considered homeschooling. or *GASP*, going to a charter school.
I come from a family of public school teachers, who teach PUBLIC SCHOOL! who attended public school.
I don't believe in homeschooling. I don't believe in Charter schools!
and yet, it has come to this where I consider it a viable option to alleviate my mom guilt?
THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT!
PLUS. The school gets paid to have my child in attendance, not on time, but THERE.
with open enrollment, I think, hmmm, maybe this school doesn't want the funding that my kids school gets to have My children enrolled there.
perhaps, I should shop around while it is open enrollment for next year?
I've never before considered open enrollment, and yet here/now i do.
see that is the justification to alleviate my MOM GUILT and counteract the empty threats of having the truancy officer sent out. or to AVOID THE BUSYWORK!
we have yet to see the truancy officer. it's not even warranted but since the principal threatened it, I'm bugged.
did you know in all of the years my kids (any of them) have been in school I've NEVER EVER missed giving Christmas gifts to my kids teachers. not to mention the years i was super on top of it and did halloween, valentines day, easter, teacher appreciation and end of school year gifts. That's the kind of parent I usually am.
this year. i didn't do them, ON PURPOSE!
it was so out of character LIBERTY (the 11 year old) NOTICED!
do i have mom guilt about that? NOPE!
i even had gifts sitting there,
i gave them to someone else.
YEAH I DID!
ok so is this worthy of my mom guilt? I don't believe it is.
I should save up my mom guilt for things like failing to provide home cooked meals daily and cussing.
I can't wait to see how this all pans out.
what causes you mom guilt?
where do you stand on busy work?
Just in case anyone wants to defend the teachers, let me tell ya first...
My mom is a retired school teacher.
My older sister teaches a high school autistic classroom after years of teaching special ed and autistic classes in elementary school .
My little sister taught elementary school at a primarily English is a 2nd language school for a few years before staying home with her kids because paying daycare for more than 2 was not worth the teacher salary she got.
My older brother (currently) teaches 8th grade science at the advanced academy here.
My aunts and uncles have been teachers and administrators in various schools high schools and school districts .
I'm related to high school Librarians that became that after teaching forever in regular classrooms.
I get where teachers are coming from as far as being under-appreciated and under-paid.
I also know teachers can look the other way on tardiness.
I know for a fact Teachers don't all have to give busywork or packets of work just for the sake of "practice".
P.S. right after we started at this school they started a new policy of locking all of the outside doors when the bell rings to make tardy kids go through the office and to keep unwanted people from access to the hallways except through the office. this coincided with the sex offender moving into the neighborhood, and was deemed appropriate for the safety of the students.
the policy bites us in the butt at school.
meanwhile the sex offender happens to live right next door.
© 2010 crazymamaof6