Wednesday, June 29, 2011

conversing with strangers and unsolicited advice

Do you ever read something somewhere and want to give unsolicited advice?

Like FB.

A girl I know from that one year I went back to school just had a new baby. Her status is complaining that she wants to eat every half hour.

My first thought was. Are you breast feeding. Is she not getting enough?

But I don't comment thinking I barely know her. How someone feeds their baby is a personal choice etc.

But seriously i'm sort of a pro.

Not at breast feeding. Because I only tried it for a few weeks with my first and I couldn't hang.

I couldn't hang because Peyton had torticollus and could only eat in one position.

Or maybe it was feeding for 45 minutes every hour was killing me.

And maybe because he was going to suffocate because he had a tiny little face and head and I had giant bigger than his head boobs.

Or maybe because I felt like I had to hide away in the back room to feed him and I was missing the damn party. (This was before hooter hiders or nursing covers became chic and handy)

Or maybe it was my postpartum depression I wasn't medicated for.

Honestly it was a combination of factors, all of those and more.

But I learned no matter how I feed my baby I couldn't have mom guilt because I'd tried and failed.

which is most often the advice i end up giving.

The baby had to eat. I had to stay sane. And bottle feeding was for me.
My baby was healthier and happier and so was I. No guilt.

I tried every bottle on the market.

(Every cool mom had avent bottles, I did, did you?)

Or the Playtex drop ins. Had 'em.

The trends have been interesting to say the least.

I was OCD with some kids I had to have bottles that matched their outfits.(only for the girls)

I went as far as embellishing them with cute designs with paint markers.

Joy and Hope both had cute gymboree outfits, custom hair bows and headbands , coordinating blankets and girly burp clothes, shoes, ruffle socks decorated bottles and jewelry to match.


Anyway. This isn't my first rodeo.
Crazymama might be crazy but she sure as heck knows what she's doing when it comes to baby making.

ahem I mean raising.

But I rarely give unsolicited advice about it.
And I really have to know someone well to discuss how they feed their baby.

or raise their kids.

even though i am semi pro.

The hubs always ends up having these conversations with people.

(Maybe because he actually talks to other adults for extended periods of time)

These conversations somehow get to how many kids he has. He doesn't bring It up. It just comes out.

Usually after these people have lectured about someday when you have kids...


When you have as many kids as I do....

You know, unsolicited advice.

Then when the truth of the matter is revealed, the shock and awe is entertaining and usually why the hubs is retelling these conversations to me.

Yesterday I pointed out. He wouldn't be so amazing if it wasn't for me giving birth to these children He brags about all the time.

Actually there is usually no bragging involved, he's more often avoiding saying the actual # to people because it causes such a stir.
Apparently conversations on airplanes aren't very private and if it comes up in conversation with a stranger on a plane it becomes a group discussion.

and people that know he has seven kids get more of a thrill telling
other people.

I of course wouldn't know since i'm home having my conversations with children.

The summer fun continues...

with Suntans pool floaties and freshly baked cookies

~ Crazymama

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Je$$ said...

i think it's wild when i hear moms who miss breast feeding..?

Jen said...

Julie get your butt over here and clean the strawberries off my computer screen, I may or may not have spit them out COL at the "this isn't my first rodeo" line. Love it! I get advice all the time and then I mention that I have 4, all boys, I know what I am doing thanks. Maybe I look younger than I am, maybe that is wishful thinking. Anyways, miss ya, sorry it has been crazy with family in town all week, talk to you soon!

Ruthie Girl said...

I have this dilemma all the time! I don't want to be a know it all, but give me some credit, I kinda know what I am doing!

I think I don't give advice because I didn't appreciate it when I had a kid. But my sister just had her first, and it is absolutely torturious watching her frustration; and yet, hear her complain about people giving her unsolicited advice. So I love her and just let her suffer.

I think it is a little different on FB because they are practically asking for advice, right?!?! No, still won't do it.

jayna said...

a good friend of mine was telling me that in her family, all of the kids were breast fed except one of her sisters. that sister (who was not breast fed) has the highest IQ. just sayin.

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